Being a Black woman is great! Your skin beams with all that melanin, and you age well because of it. You’re granted the duty and privilege of being a keeper to so many of your sisters by virtue of your experiences. You know that your joy, your beauty, your pain, and your life is an act of resistance to be celebrated. You’ve got that Black girl magic. But you’ve also got some really, stupid questions to deal with on a day-to-day basis.
I, for one, have decided that 2016 is the year I stop answering some ignorant questions. Let’s review.
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1. Questions about my hair or any other Black woman’s hair.
It’s not your business if my hair is real or not, especially if I don’t know you. Unless you see me in a hair salon or workshop catering to “natural hair,” it is not my duty to teach you about it. And I am not your personal guide to understanding the complexities of Black hair. You know who can answer your questions though? Google.
2. How to do the Nae Nae or some other popular Black dance.
The Nae Nae is a great dance. So is the Whip. And the Stank Leg. And there are tons of Hip Hop dance studios and YouTube videos that will gladly teach you how to do them.
3. Questions about how I talk and why I talk the way I talk.
I cannot take anyone seriously who asks why I “speak so well” or “talk white” or some other silly question. Ask yourself: Why do YOU speak the way you do and after that, go ask Reddit.
4. Whether or not you can’t say the N-word if you’re not Black.
Head over to Amazon. Rent 12 Years A Slave. Ask the question again but this time to yourself and in front of the mirror.
5. “Why is there no White History Month?”
Here’s a question for you, “CAN YOU NOT?” Other similar questions that will not be asked, “Why is there a BET?” “Why are you making this about race?”
6. “Do we have to make this about race?”
If Google were Siri, she’d probably respond with, “If you have to ask…” My response will be to side-eye you and continue whatever conversation I was having.
7. “Did you hear what Stacey Dash or Raven-Symone [or insert name of another person the Black community wants to trade in a racial draft] said? Do you agree?”
Go and ask Black Twitter, and if you’ve not been dragged to pieces, maybe, I’ll answer your question.