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The 28th Annual MTV Video Music Awards - Arrivals

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The Game stood in his social media pulpit to tell Black women how to be a queen.

Because, he knows us so well.

On his Instagram page, Game captioned a pictured of a Black man placing a crown on a Black woman’s head with the following caption:

In a world full of insta-famous, 1/2 clothes, airbrush you skin app using, duck lip doing, poke my butt out, find the right angle, selfie taking for attention, club hosting for scraps, 500k followers with no morals having women, you’re lucky if you find her…& if you do, crown her…for she is YOUR QUEEN. One time for the for the working class women, the single mothers grinding that 9-5 as well as the future doctors, lawyers, teachers etc…who value their self worth & just finished finals & are glad to finally be on Christmas break cause they worked so hard this semester to get closer to achieving their dreams. This ones for you. #itsgottafeelgoodtohaveacareerotherthanwaisttrainingteadrinkorteethwhitening

How is this dick-print posting, Instagram thumb-thugging, I left my woman of years for an 18-year old, rapper confidently throwing stones from a glass house?

Masculinity has always been marked with an inherent and historical sense of superiority and authority, which is why a man can slut/career shame women without catching a whiff of his own stank.

Did he forget that he himself is a male version of those Instagram ‘thots’ he abhors, when he posts pictures of himself grabbing his penis?

Did he forget that his 18-year-old girlfriend India Love was also considered an Instagram model?

Somehow, he still stands as King among a bunch of bitches and hoes. And much to my chagrin, women applauded his response, thanking him as if they were desperate for one drop of validation from this almighty man.

But the Game isn’t alone.

Just think of how many all-knowing male authors have profited by confidently tell women why they aren’t in relationships, and what they need to do to be in them.

We have Steve Harvey’s ’90 Day Rule’ commandment, coupled with comments from Tony Gaskins who claims he ‘won’t date a woman who has had more than 5 sexual partners.’

And women are out here spinning their wheels trying to figure out how to be a prude and a freak and a housewife and a career woman and independent (but not too strong) and natural and weaved up in an effort to cater to these arbitrary expectations and rules that, fundamentally, don’t mean anything.

It’s like all these unsolicited Black male mentors are trying to write the Miseducation Of The Black Woman.

Well, I’ve got some advice for you all as well:

Dear Black man,

You did not give me my crown.

It was mine from the moment I was conceived, and it will remain on my head until I am ten feet under.

Therefore, you cannot tell me how to earn it, how to keep it, or even how to adjust it.

The process of recognizing your crown (emphasis on recognizing, not earning) is an individual and personal walk that is between a woman and her soul. The tendency to journey-shame people is a symptom of thinking that in order to be acceptable, everyone must think they way you think and act the way you act.

Guess what? The Instagram model you’re judging may have just paid her way through school. The woman you are clothes-shaming may have just found the strength within herself to show off a body she is proud of for all it has done for her.

So, Game, if you want to mentor anyone, talk to THE BLACK MAN. Tell him your f*ck ups and your mistakes, and what you wished you could’ve done differently. Educate your sons on respecting themselves, women around them and how to advance in their careers to be a doctor or a lawyer or a good husband and father.

And while you’re at it, adjust your own crown instead of checking for mine.

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