On last night’s episode of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta,” the ladies continued their “bonding” trip in Savannah, GA but they’re struggling to get along while they battle their own issues. Last week they were at each other’s throats over former boyfriends and the extent of their relationships, this week tears were shed over the subject of dating but it wasn’t about the women.
Over breakfast conversation shifted to motherhood and how it varies among the sexes, and it all kicked off with Nene saying she doesn’t agree with Cynthia’s approach to her daughter dating. Cynthia has met her daughter’s boyfriend’s mother and now is usually the chauffeur to their dates while Nene doesn’t allow her son, Brent, who is the same age to date at all. This brings up the age old argument of how young is too young to begin dating?
This conversation took a turn for the worse when Nene attempted to imply that girls are far more assertive than boys and it was the sons who needed to be careful. As the mother of a daughter I can say with certainty that I will not be allowing my daughter to have one on one dates at thirteen but I cannot agree with Ms. Leakes that girls of this generation are coercing the boys to do anything. Have you seen the video app Vine lately? It’s filled to the brim with half dressed teenagers all vying for six seconds of attention.
Back in my day people still had to call the house phone to reach a crush. Truth be told most children of this generation are far more advanced and knowledgeable about subjects I had no idea about at their age because of the easy access to adult appropriate content via the internet and what is shown on television. I have been witness to both boys and girls at young ages discussing and engaging in conversations or activities that I believe are too sexual for their ages. With young children nowadays being exposed to sexuality much quicker it isn’t hard to believe that some parents are more willing to be closely involved in their children’s lives as opposed to letting them learn about these subjects from their peers.
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Kandi and Cynthia, the only mothers of girls in the “Housewives” group, battled with Nene and Phaedra, both parents to boys, who claimed that it was their sons that would need protecting from the wiles of adolescent girls. The idea that their boys are being influenced solely by young giggling girls in the mall makes me question what advice or lessons they are giving their men to be. But furthermore, none of the girls confronted NeNe about her parenting when her older son, Bryson, got a girl pregnant or got arrested in previous season , so it’s interesting that NeNe would feel the need to throw her unsolicited two cents in about Cynthia’s daughter’s supervised puppy love.
Porsha and Kenya sat on the outside both as women who have had their own woes with parenting bringing their opinions to the table. Kenya with the element of not having a relationship with her mother said she hopes she never has a daughter so she isn’t reminded of the failed situation she comes from. While Porsha just longs to be a parent so badly.
It begs the question, what kind of mother are you or what kind do you want to be? Do you think your sons are the apple of your eye who would never chase a skirt or are you teaching your them that all women are out for something and they must protect themselves vehemently? Perhaps you’re the mother of a daughter who is just beginning to like boys and wants to spend a day at the mall with a particular young man. Where do you draw the line, when do you let your little girl grow up or your baby boy begin to become a man?
There’s an old saying, “Mother’s love their sons and raise their daughters.” Tell me what do you think it means, hit me up on Twitter @Hautemommie let’s discuss. Follow me there for more of my thoughts on this and much more. Meet me here same time next for more with the girls of Atlanta, peace!
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1. The 13 Most Ratchet Reality TV Movements
There was the Miguel leg drop, Miley's dancing bones, Beyonce's Superbowl performance and so many more entertaining moments in 2013, but nothing kept us more engaged than reality TV. It is our guilty pleasure and God-given right to vicariously indulge in the ratchet behavior that occurs on popular networks like VH1, etc. With 2014 creeping around the corner, we've counted down the most memorable reality TV moments.
2. 13. JazMone Reveals "No Edges" On National TV
The most ratchet moment of Oxygen's "Bad Girl's Club Miami" wasn't a fight (though season 11 brought plenty beat downs) it was the moment when every watching Black girl cringed in pain when JazMonae hot combed her balding edges. JazMone was very open about her hair problem, but when she revealed the patchy spot on national TV, we collectively died. She had the nerve to be hot combing what hair was left. Girl bye.
3. 12. Shekinah: "I Want To Be White"
Shekinah Jo is the best thing (besides family and positive depictions of Black men in society) that happened to "TI & Tiny: The Family Hustle." Shekinah took ratchet to new heights during an episode where Tiny sought etiquette help for her, in preparation for her late night reality show "Tiny Tonight," the established beautician said "I want to be White." She is so ghetto fab.
4. 11. Doctor's Wives Fight Too
This year we were introduced to the secret lives of doctor's wives. Apparently, it was a thing. "Married To The Medicine" became widely talked about for their hypocritical behavior that included fighting in public when they weren't bickering over who was more bougie. Castmates Mariah and Huq duked it out in ball gowns by the pool over he said, she said. Anything for fame, eh?
5. 10. Battle Of The Booties: Kenya Vs. Phaedra
When Kenya Moore and Phaedra decided to go to war over who had the better "donkey" and fitness DVD, Kenya showed up to an event dressed as Phaedra in a tacky mesh ensemble that showed off her butt pads. Kenya was really after her "15 minutes of fame."
6. 9. Kenya Caught In Texting Scandal
Texting a married is not appropriate unless the tone of the conversation remains strictly platonic or business-based. Kenya and Phaedra's husband blurred the lines when she was caught texting Apollo "babe." On "Real Housewives Of Atlanta," Kenya found herself in the hot seat when Apollo claimed she offered his a sexual favor behind Phaedra's back.
7. 8. DMX Vs. Iyanla
DMX didn't think Iyanla's tactics (pulling demons out of your back in whimsical hand movements) fixed his life and wanted a refund. In an awkward turn of events on "Iyanla Fix My Life," DMX lashed out against the motivational coach's treatment launching the duo into shouting match. "Shut the f*** up man," he told her. Iyanla #turntup and scolded X, saying "You don't get to talk to me like that."
8. 7. "Catfish" Starring Bow Wow...Or Nah?
In a setback to civilization as we know it, Keyonna thought she was dating Bow Wow. Yes, the rapping, acting, 106 & Park host Bow Wow. Keyonna volunteered her story for MTV's "Catfish" and revealed that her Internet boyfriend-- who she believed was Bow Wow had contacted her on a fan forum and sent her $10,000. It was the "duh" heard the world when Keyonna found out Bow Wow was really Dee Pimpin.
9. 6. Joseline Hernandez: "Hi Maid"
Earlier this year we were blessed with another season of "Love & Hip Hop Atlanta" and watched Joseline solidify herself as the number woman in Stevie J's life. During a visit to Stevie's baby's mother's house, Joseline insulted Mimi's lounge wear, calling it a maid uniform. "Hi Maid," she greeted. Poor Mimi, all she could do was throw her out her house but the damage had already been done. #HiMaid went viral...
10. 5. Suzie Vs. Kenya
Season 5 of "Basketball Wives" ended abruptly but that doesn't mean it didn't pack a lot of punch. After a confidence boost from Tami Roman, Suzie grabbed her imaginary man gizzards and got physical with cast mate Kenya Bell. Unfortunately, Tami didn't teach Suzie how to fight. The bloody brawl left Suzie with scratched across her face and a bloody lip, Kenya walked away with tussled hair (tracks-in-tack).
11. 4. Hot Tub Kirk
One of the most talked-about moments of 2013 was Rasheeda's husband Kirk's hot tub rendezvous that almost cost him his marriage. One night, with the boys (Benzino and Bobby V), Kirk decided to take his wife's advice and get his life together, so he cheats (side eye) on her with two "popcorn groupies" on national TV. The stunt earned Kirk a first class ticket to being the most hated reality celeb of (almost) all time.
12. 3. Mama Joyce & Shoe Vs. Kandi's Assistant
Dear Mama Joyce, we get it. You don't like your daughter Kandi's fiance Todd, but there is no reason for you to act like a damn fool behind it. (Now that we've gotten that out the way...). Mama Joyce has vehemently opposed Kandi's relationship with Todd but on a recent episode, Joyce accused Kandi's assistant of having an affair with Todd then attempted to attack her with her shoe. Kandi and others had to intervene.
13. 2. Double Trouble
We knew something was wrong when Mimi walked into Stevie J and Joseline's intimate dinner. We were right. Stevie began the epic toast by accepting the engagement ring Jos presented to him days prior but that didn't shock us as much as his next move! He then gave a ring to Mimi, proposing to always be in her life as well. Joseline lashed out with her fists and Mimi laughed with a spiteful vengeance. Karma.
14. 1. Peter Gunz Marries The Side Chick
We were positive "Love & Hip Hop" couldn't get anymore dramatic. Boy were we wrong! "Love & Hip Hop" NY snatched the top spot on our ratchet reality show moments with Peter Gunz still holding the reigns for a**hole of the year. Gunz was still in a relationship with his baby's mother and living with her at the time when he admitted to marrying his side chick and artist Amina Buddafly.