Growing up, the only thing that could separate me and my best friends Alexis and Shavon from hanging out was being put on punishment by our mothers. Aside from that, all three of us were tied at the hip, oftentimes walking home from school and then getting on the phone later that night to discuss how fine Stephán Urkél was or was going on between Dawson and Joey on the latest episode of “Dawson’s Creek.”
Things began to change when boys started getting our attention, but nonetheless, we made adjustments as girls and still maintained our relationship. In some cases, we became closer than ever when we learned those hard lessons only young love can teach you. But somewhere after college and the introduction to the real world, I realized having adult relationships would prove to be as daunting as a full-time job.
For the record, as a woman, having a solid core of female friends is not only important, it’s a lifeline. My friends provide different perspectives and oftentimes hard truths that I need to hear. However, with an aggressive work week that far exceeds 40 hours, coupled with an unrelenting fire and ambition that equates to long hours on the computer far past 5pm, sometimes picking up the phone to say ‘hey girl,’ is exhausting.
I know that sounds selfish at best, and lazy at worst, but it’s honest. It does not mean I love my girls any less. I have very few friends that understand that I can indeed love them from a distance, as well as love them sporadically, without becoming offended. These 20s that I am living in are the most detrimental years to my life and my career.
Another reason for my five feet of distance from the girl zone is my own personal growth. Gone are the days if a boy called, I had to run to Alexis or Shavon for advice, approval or acceptance of the latest John who I swore would be “the one.” Shenequa is learning to trust Shenequa.
Adult friendships require a certain finesse that I haven’t yet figured out. I understand when life gets me down, or my boy toy gets on my last nerve its your girls who shoulder that hour-long late night phone call, but until I figure out how to be Shenequa, get my footing in my career, my adult friendships will unfortunately take a blow.
How do you handle your adult friendships? Let’s chat @GoldingGirl617
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Celebs Tweet Their Thoughts About #JusticeForSandraBland
1. Jesse Williams
#SandraBland's treatment while attempting to travel freely on HER public roadways has been acknowledged as unlawful. She is already dead.
2. Taraji P. Henson
"SAY HER NAME #SandraBland"
3. Ava DuVernay
"'Why are you arresting me?' Because you know your rights. Because I can. Because no one'll believe you. #SandraBland"
4. Kim Kardashian
#WhatHappenedToSandraBland We need answers!!!! This is NOT ok! This is all shady! They need to own up to this & tell the truth!
5. Jussie Smollet
"A loss 4 words. #SandraBlandMatters #BlackLivesMatter 👈🏿tell me this should change once the nation shows that we do. "
6. Snoop Dogg
🙏🌹. Sandra. Rip. 🌹🌹
7. K. Michelle
R.I.P to this queen. This could've been any of us. My prayers go out to her family. #sandrabland https://instagram.com/p/5fvlO_AhCf/
8. Gabrielle Union
SAY HER NAME!!! #SandraBland #SandraBland #SandraBland #SayHerName
"We must get to the cause of #sandrabland death because this CANNOT happen again #deathorfreedom"
10. David Banner
"When will we fight back. A man's duty on earth is to protect women and children. Where are the gangsters? Preachers? We need you. Please."
11. Nicki Minaj
"Rest In Peace #SandraBland"
12. Talib Kweli
"We the people ask @LorettaLynch to investigate #SandraBland #KimberleeRandleKing RETWEET "
Signs. Signs. Signs all around us. The Message is Here. #SandraBland
14. Missy Elliot
"When I look at the #SandraBland traffic video it brings so many emotions😳😢😡😡😤!"
15. Jessie J
"God bless your soul Sandra | #sandrabland | Change needs to come |Justice needs to be served | Heart… https://instagram.com/p/5fV79mQ0aw/ "
16. Jackee Harry
"It's time y'all, it's time.." #SandraBland #BlackLivesMatter
"In memory of #SandraBland these things don't make no kinda sense "
18. Holly Robinson Peete
I really don't look forward to having ANOTHER difficult conversation w my kids tonight...but here we go again😧💔 #SandraBland #SayHerName 😢
19. Jeffrey White
Sadly, doesn't matter by whose hand she died. Unjustified arrested set the outcome in motion. The state murdered her. #JusticeForSandraBland
Sandra could have been your mother, sister, aunt, friend or if she wasn't killed the community outreach advisor A&M. #SandraBland
21. Joan Smalls
"My heart is broken. Sending my deepest condolence to her family and friends. May you find Strength, Peace and Justice. When will this stop? #EqualityForAll #RIP #Why #SayHerName
22. Gladys Knight
Sandra Bland.... #SayHerName #SandraBland
23. Cara Delevigne
Things need to change NOW #SANDRABLAND #Justice #Equality
24. Meek Mill
"Rip to that young lady that lost her life about a traffic stop! 🙏 ima make sure I pray for her and her family! 🙏😄😄😄"