In today’s edition of crazy Change.org petitions we have “BEYONCE CANNOT ATTEND KIM KARDASHIAN’S WEDDING.” (Yes, in all capital letters.)
According to a new online petition, Beyonce fans are urging the superstar to skip out on the Kimye wedding — or in the words of founder John Barry, “rain check that train wreck of wedding.”
“As you all know by know Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have sadly been in the news for their “engagement”. Kim Kardashian and her disgusting family are known for their rise to fame for doing absolutely nothing. Aside from being a famous whore Kim has decided to get knocked up by notorious jackass Kanye West and know are planning to get married,” the petition states. “Now we must do all in our power to stop Beyonce from attending that god forsaken wedding, since her husband Jay Z is BFF’s with Kanye he probably wants both of them to go. Beyonce should not be forced to go and sit thru that torture while surrounded by the Kardashian pigs. Beyonce do not go to that wedding you don’t have to do it to please that whore and her jackass fiance.”
Barry, an obvious Beyhive enthusiast, goes on to suggest ways Bey can miss the ceremony.
1. Extend The Mrs Carter Show World Tour for as long as possible- Be on tour for their wedding. Tell them your busy and business always comes first.
2. Blue Ivy has the flu- You cant attend a wedding when your baby is sick.
3. You have something better to do- Your Beyonce you always have something better to do than to attend a Kim Kardashian wedding.
4. Say that you have a meeting with the President and the First Lady- Who would say no to the president, especially when your other choice is to attend a Kim Kardashian wedding.
5. Simply say no- Tell the b***h no. Simple as that.
As we reported earlier, Kanye West popped the question to his girlfriend and baby mother last month. A date and location for the nuptials have yet to be announced.
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1. When She Taught Us The Word "Bootylicious"
Back in her Destiny’s Child days, Beyonce was the queen of creating new trends and making it cool to be curvy yet sexy. In 2001, Beyonce co-wrote the song, “Bootylicious”, giving curvaceous women everywhere the confidence to embrace their big hips, thighs and of course, their booty. The song and word caused such a phenomenon in popular culture that it was actually added to the Oxford English Dictionary in 2008 with the definition: "sexually attractive, sexy; shapley” – and we owe it all to Beyonce and Destiny’s Child!
2. When She Helped Us Get Through A Bad Breakup With "Irreplaceable"
After Beyonce gave us the confidence to embrace our curves, she helped us get through bad breakups by teaching us the exact direction to tell our exes to go, “to the left, to the left”. Beyonce released “Irreplaceable” off of her 2006 album, “B-Day” and gave newly single women everywhere an anthem to deal with the breakdown of a relationship with an unfaithful partner and feel empowered to move on.
3. When She Gave Us A Single Girl's Anthem With "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)"
Not only did Beyonce help us get through a bad breakup, but she gave us a single girl’s anthem as well! Of course, I’m talking about none other than “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It”.
4. When She Made A "Gangsta Rapper" Fall In Love
If any of you were Jay Z fans prior to his relationship with Beyonce, then you’re familiar with this popular lyric, “me give my heart to a woman? Not for nothing, never happen. I’ll be forever macking”. I think it was safe to say that before Beyonce, Jay Z was living his everyday life like he was always on the set of the “Big Pimpin’” music video. Enter Beyonce and all of her female empowerment ways and Jay was quick to retire his pimp card and have “the hottest chick in the game wearing his chain”. Now, the duo is the biggest couple in hip-hop, with sold out concerts, hit records and an heir to the throne, Blue Ivy.
5. When She Announced She Was Pregnant
Speaking of Blue Ivy, Beyonce had the best pregnancy announcement of all time (in my Kanye West voice). During her performance of “Love on Top” at the 2011 MTV VMA awards, Beyonce announced to the world that she was with child after dropping the microphone, pulling back her blazer and rubbing her growing baby bump!
6. When She Got Sexy For "GQ" Magazine
Beyonce’s GQ photo spread for her Superbowl Halftime Performance was probably her sexiest look, ever! While prancing around in a cropped football jersey and sexy lingerie for the magazine’s cover, Bey let the world know that she’s capable of still being incredibly sexy while holding the title of a wife and mother. Touché Beyonce, Touché.
7. When She Gave Us A Destiny's Child Reunion At Her 2013 Superbowl Halftime Performance
Of course, we all love Beyonce, but we all miss Michelle and Kelly and the Destiny’s Child era as well. Luckily for us, at this year’s Superbowl Halftime Show, not only did Beyonce give us the performance of her life, she also gave us a Destiny’s Child reunion that we’ve been waiting for!