As soon as I got engaged, I started delegating tasks to some of my girlfriends. My fiancé and I decided against a wedding party, so this ad hoc crew of “Bride’s Homegirls” was the next best thing for assisting in planning certain events surrounding the wedding.
Our decision against a wedding party was three-fold.
Number 1: We didn’t want the headache of dealing with other people and wondering if they got the right dress, tux, shoes, accessories, etc. We knew a wedding party would have been too much to handle with my snappy demeanor and my fiancé’s lack of being pressed about deadlines.
Number 2: We didn’t want people to incur additional costs since we were getting married in a location that required most of our guests to travel.
Number 3: I just felt like I was too damn old to be standing up there with a bunch of bridesmaids. I mean, it’s all cute in your twenties, but ain’t nobody got time for alla dat in your thirties.
Back to the story.
So once I got engaged, I immediately handed the planning of my bachelorette party off to three of my girlfriends who share the same passion for kicking it hard and imbibing in hard liquor and shenanigans with me. These three ladies are not necessarily my closest girlfriends in terms of being my “best friends” since second grade, but they are definitely my go-to girls when I want to get out and have a good time with no judgment. They don’t count the number of cocktails I have consumed and they don’t tell me when to go home. They are just some down ass chicks who are also extremely Type A like me. I knew I could hand this bachelorette party assignment off to them with no worries.
Once I asked them to serve as my “Directors of Debauchery,” they swiftly moved into action. I didn’t have to check in with them to see how the planning was going because they had me covered. The only time they came to me with questions was to inquire if other people may be invited, along and if they had any rules to adhere to. When questioned about any limitations on the planning, I simply gave them two: “No bodily fluids…oh, and no tiaras and sashes or princess type sh*t.” Stunned (but not really), they nodded their heads and commenced the planning.
For an entire nine months, my “DOD” would not divulge any details. I didn’t know what city we were traveling to, who agreed to come along, what hotel we were staying in or what events were planned. I was in the dark about all details and it did not bother me one bit.
About four days before our planned departure, my “DOD” took me out for brunch. They figured they would reveal all details to me then so I may pack appropriately. I went to the restroom and upon returning, my bachelorette party itinerary was laying across my plate, right under my napkin.
I shrieked with excitement!! We were heading to Vegas, and by “we” I mean myself and 27 other Black women. Lawd!!!
I did have some reservations about traveling with 27 Black women because, let’s be real, everybody does not mesh well in social settings. I have some lame friends, some judgmental friends, some wild friends, some friends with hoe-like tendencies, I mean…you just NEVER know. The good news is my “DOD” team prepped my guests with a couple of rules which included no social media and no snitching.
After leaving brunch, my “DOD” text me saying, “You are in fact leaving tomorrow. You have a suite booked under your name for a day of relaxation by yourself before your guests arrive. A car will arrive to pick you up at 8:00 am where you will depart from JFK. You deserve this.”
I pulled my car over and cried like a baby. I felt so loved and appreciated. My girls know me oh so well.
You know how the saying goes, “What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas,” so I won’t go into to full detail about everything that happened my bachelorette weekend, but I will give you this. How can I? I told my girls they couldn’t!
I HAD THE TIME OF MY FRIGGIN’ LIFE!!!
We, in no particular order:
1) Drank copious amounts of hard liquor
2) Partied until 6 am every day/night. Well, at least I did. Anytime I felt tired or as if I couldn’t party anymore, I simply reminded myself that I will never have another bachelorette party.
3) Interacted with strippers.
4) Day partied with private pool, cabanas and more copious amounts of hard liquor.
6) Took poll dancing class.
7) Smoked hookahs and cigars.
8) (insert everything else I can’t even mention due to non-disclosure agreements)
I am happy to report all 27 black women got along, even me! There was no fussing, no bickering, no fighting, no nothing.
Before returning home, I mentioned to all of the ladies that we should make this an annual girl’s trip. I don’t care if nobody is getting married, we need this time to let loose, forget about work, forget about our families, forget about anything that is bothering us and just act a damn fool.
If being single for 30+ years gets you successful, professional friends with major disposable income, big hearts and no shame to plan your last trip/big party as a single woman, then it was well worth the wait.
About the Author: She holds multiple degrees, is a natural born socialite, a business owner, an extreme exerciser of faith and a realist. After 3 years of dating and a year of being engaged, she is ready to tell the truth about what to expect when you are transitioning from being a single woman with no worries to a future wife. For the sake of these articles, let’s just call her Nina. After all, that was here “Club Name” for over 15 years….so yeah, introducing Nina.
Also On HelloBeautiful:
Celebs Tweet Their Thoughts About #JusticeForSandraBland
1. Jesse Williams
#SandraBland's treatment while attempting to travel freely on HER public roadways has been acknowledged as unlawful. She is already dead.
2. Taraji P. Henson
"SAY HER NAME #SandraBland"
3. Ava DuVernay
"'Why are you arresting me?' Because you know your rights. Because I can. Because no one'll believe you. #SandraBland"
4. Kim Kardashian
#WhatHappenedToSandraBland We need answers!!!! This is NOT ok! This is all shady! They need to own up to this & tell the truth!
5. Jussie Smollet
"A loss 4 words. #SandraBlandMatters #BlackLivesMatter 👈🏿tell me this should change once the nation shows that we do. "
6. Snoop Dogg
🙏🌹. Sandra. Rip. 🌹🌹
7. K. Michelle
R.I.P to this queen. This could've been any of us. My prayers go out to her family. #sandrabland https://instagram.com/p/5fvlO_AhCf/
8. Gabrielle Union
SAY HER NAME!!! #SandraBland #SandraBland #SandraBland #SayHerName
"We must get to the cause of #sandrabland death because this CANNOT happen again #deathorfreedom"
10. David Banner
"When will we fight back. A man's duty on earth is to protect women and children. Where are the gangsters? Preachers? We need you. Please."
11. Nicki Minaj
"Rest In Peace #SandraBland"
12. Talib Kweli
"We the people ask @LorettaLynch to investigate #SandraBland #KimberleeRandleKing RETWEET "
Signs. Signs. Signs all around us. The Message is Here. #SandraBland
14. Missy Elliot
"When I look at the #SandraBland traffic video it brings so many emotions😳😢😡😡😤!"
15. Jessie J
"God bless your soul Sandra | #sandrabland | Change needs to come |Justice needs to be served | Heart… https://instagram.com/p/5fV79mQ0aw/ "
16. Jackee Harry
"It's time y'all, it's time.." #SandraBland #BlackLivesMatter
"In memory of #SandraBland these things don't make no kinda sense "
18. Holly Robinson Peete
I really don't look forward to having ANOTHER difficult conversation w my kids tonight...but here we go again😧💔 #SandraBland #SayHerName 😢
19. Jeffrey White
Sadly, doesn't matter by whose hand she died. Unjustified arrested set the outcome in motion. The state murdered her. #JusticeForSandraBland
Sandra could have been your mother, sister, aunt, friend or if she wasn't killed the community outreach advisor A&M. #SandraBland
21. Joan Smalls
"My heart is broken. Sending my deepest condolence to her family and friends. May you find Strength, Peace and Justice. When will this stop? #EqualityForAll #RIP #Why #SayHerName
22. Gladys Knight
Sandra Bland.... #SayHerName #SandraBland
23. Cara Delevigne
Things need to change NOW #SANDRABLAND #Justice #Equality
24. Meek Mill
"Rip to that young lady that lost her life about a traffic stop! 🙏 ima make sure I pray for her and her family! 🙏😄😄😄"