I am the biggest Drake fan there is (OK, maybe not the biggest) but if there came an opportunity to choose between world peace or a date with Drizzy, it would be a no-brainer. However I can’t even get with his latest video for the song I adore, “Hold On (We’re Going Home).” Seriously, it is supposed to Grand Theft Auto-like?
Set in 1985 with Miami as it’s backdrop, Drizzy borrows the opening scene from Usher’s “Nice & Slow” video. His lead girl is kidnapped (in lingerie of course) and held captive in a warehouse. The racially ambiguous blonde finds herself face-to-face with a ninja like warrior until Drake and his posse (outcasts from Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” video) show up to rescue her.
Drake, clavicle peeking through his hoodie (how’d he manage that?) stands before his mission then covers his face with a ski-mask equipped with…wait for it… tears. Are we in South Central?
Drizzy cocked up his automatic weapon with one hand and commenced to shoot up the bad guys, who are also dressed appropriately in all black get-ups and ski-masks.
Then it really gets weird. An explosion forces fire everywhere. Drizzy’s biracial cutie with a big booty breaks free and fights off her killer in white lace without getting dirty or poking a hole in the pattern (happens to me every time). She isn’t fast enough to evade the stone cold killer so he catches her by the achilles as she attempts to trot away. She yanks at his gold choker (are we mistaken or did Rihanna have the same one?) until finally Drake appears above, and delivers the final shot to save her life. They make out (I feel a tingle). Cash Money Records flashes across a black screen.
WTF was that? Did I hit seven awkward moment or do I need to point them out for you all? Fine, here they go…