Due to my Type A personality and our limited finances, we decided to fore-go a wedding planner. I am pretty effective and efficient when it comes to making plans and executing them and I have a bevy of friends who are great planners as well, so I figured with my attention to detail and timeliness, planning a wedding would be a piece of cake. This sentiment is not 100 percent accurate.
The good thing about being engaged for almost a year is time is on your side when making decisions on what you want and executing those plans. Another benefit is getting your finances in order because weddings can be expensive. On top of the costs for the venue and catering, the small things can start to add up as well.
When discussing our engagement before I got my ring, my fiancé and I had already started having preliminary talks about where we would like to be married and what type of ceremony we wanted. So not even a month after getting engaged, I started looking at venues. This process was fairly easy as we were both immediately drawn to one venue in particular, so once I viewed it (he was out of town on the new job), we immediately put a deposit down.
Now when it came to other matters, such as our color scheme, decorations, flowers, etc., the best way for me to handle getting my fiancé’s feedback was via Pinterest and my iPad. While he would be sitting on the couch watching television, I would snuggle up under him, whip out the iPad and ask his opinion on ideas I had pulled from the popular site. It was painless in the beginning, as I would swiftly slide past photos and ask him for a “yay” or “nay.” I am happy to report that we were on the same page about a lot of ideas, so there were few times (if any) where we had to institute conflict resolution mechanisms, such as flipping a coin.
While in New York one holiday season, I met up with two of my wedding day executors to discuss logistics for the wedding as well as other open items dealing with vendors. As it was a rare occasion with my fiancé and I being in the same city during a planning meeting, so I happily invited him to sit in on the meeting to share some of his thoughts. I was excited that he agreed to it, because I sort of felt like I was leaving him out of the planning. I mean, he would tell me just to get whatever I wanted but I still wanted his input and blessing on most things.
We start the meeting and my beloved fiancé starts acting like a 5-year-old. He is not paying attention, he is changing the subject, he is talking to other patrons in the restaurant, it was completely frustrating. Noticing that he has mentally completely checked out of the planning meeting, I turn to him and with a dear smile ask him, “You don’t want to be here do you?” Of course he took this as a way to get out of the meeting and immediately retreated across the street to our friend’s apartment to watch sports. He could care less about table runners, color schemes, chairs, candles, etc. All he wanted to know was where he needed to be and what time he needed to be there.
Many people often ask me, “Oh how is your wedding planning going? Are you excited? Is your fiancé excited?” and my reply is always a “Yes! He’s excited that his fiancé is a Type A control freak with Type A friends so all he has to do is show up…”
About the Author: She holds multiple degrees, is a natural born socialite, a business owner, an extreme exerciser of faith and a realist. After 3 years of dating and a year of being engaged, she is ready to tell the truth about what to expect when you are transitioning from being a single woman with no worries to a future wife. For the sake of these articles, let’s just call her Nina. After all, that was here “Club Name” for over 15 years….so yeah, introducing Nina.
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