Due to my Type A personality and our limited finances, we decided to fore-go a wedding planner. I am pretty effective and efficient when it comes to making plans and executing them and I have a bevy of friends who are great planners as well, so I figured with my attention to detail and timeliness, planning a wedding would be a piece of cake. This sentiment is not 100 percent accurate.
The good thing about being engaged for almost a year is time is on your side when making decisions on what you want and executing those plans. Another benefit is getting your finances in order because weddings can be expensive. On top of the costs for the venue and catering, the small things can start to add up as well.
When discussing our engagement before I got my ring, my fiancé and I had already started having preliminary talks about where we would like to be married and what type of ceremony we wanted. So not even a month after getting engaged, I started looking at venues. This process was fairly easy as we were both immediately drawn to one venue in particular, so once I viewed it (he was out of town on the new job), we immediately put a deposit down.
Now when it came to other matters, such as our color scheme, decorations, flowers, etc., the best way for me to handle getting my fiancé’s feedback was via Pinterest and my iPad. While he would be sitting on the couch watching television, I would snuggle up under him, whip out the iPad and ask his opinion on ideas I had pulled from the popular site. It was painless in the beginning, as I would swiftly slide past photos and ask him for a “yay” or “nay.” I am happy to report that we were on the same page about a lot of ideas, so there were few times (if any) where we had to institute conflict resolution mechanisms, such as flipping a coin.
While in New York one holiday season, I met up with two of my wedding day executors to discuss logistics for the wedding as well as other open items dealing with vendors. As it was a rare occasion with my fiancé and I being in the same city during a planning meeting, so I happily invited him to sit in on the meeting to share some of his thoughts. I was excited that he agreed to it, because I sort of felt like I was leaving him out of the planning. I mean, he would tell me just to get whatever I wanted but I still wanted his input and blessing on most things.
We start the meeting and my beloved fiancé starts acting like a 5-year-old. He is not paying attention, he is changing the subject, he is talking to other patrons in the restaurant, it was completely frustrating. Noticing that he has mentally completely checked out of the planning meeting, I turn to him and with a dear smile ask him, “You don’t want to be here do you?” Of course he took this as a way to get out of the meeting and immediately retreated across the street to our friend’s apartment to watch sports. He could care less about table runners, color schemes, chairs, candles, etc. All he wanted to know was where he needed to be and what time he needed to be there.
Many people often ask me, “Oh how is your wedding planning going? Are you excited? Is your fiancé excited?” and my reply is always a “Yes! He’s excited that his fiancé is a Type A control freak with Type A friends so all he has to do is show up…”
About the Author: She holds multiple degrees, is a natural born socialite, a business owner, an extreme exerciser of faith and a realist. After 3 years of dating and a year of being engaged, she is ready to tell the truth about what to expect when you are transitioning from being a single woman with no worries to a future wife. For the sake of these articles, let’s just call her Nina. After all, that was here “Club Name” for over 15 years….so yeah, introducing Nina.
LIKE HelloBeautiful On Facebook!
Also On HelloBeautiful:
Celebs Tweet Their Thoughts About #JusticeForSandraBland
1. Jesse Williams
#SandraBland's treatment while attempting to travel freely on HER public roadways has been acknowledged as unlawful. She is already dead.
2. Taraji P. Henson
"SAY HER NAME #SandraBland"
3. Ava DuVernay
"'Why are you arresting me?' Because you know your rights. Because I can. Because no one'll believe you. #SandraBland"
4. Kim Kardashian
#WhatHappenedToSandraBland We need answers!!!! This is NOT ok! This is all shady! They need to own up to this & tell the truth!
5. Jussie Smollet
"A loss 4 words. #SandraBlandMatters #BlackLivesMatter 👈🏿tell me this should change once the nation shows that we do. "
6. Snoop Dogg
🙏🌹. Sandra. Rip. 🌹🌹
7. K. Michelle
R.I.P to this queen. This could've been any of us. My prayers go out to her family. #sandrabland https://instagram.com/p/5fvlO_AhCf/
8. Gabrielle Union
SAY HER NAME!!! #SandraBland #SandraBland #SandraBland #SayHerName
"We must get to the cause of #sandrabland death because this CANNOT happen again #deathorfreedom"
10. David Banner
"When will we fight back. A man's duty on earth is to protect women and children. Where are the gangsters? Preachers? We need you. Please."
11. Nicki Minaj
"Rest In Peace #SandraBland"
12. Talib Kweli
"We the people ask @LorettaLynch to investigate #SandraBland #KimberleeRandleKing RETWEET "
Signs. Signs. Signs all around us. The Message is Here. #SandraBland
14. Missy Elliot
"When I look at the #SandraBland traffic video it brings so many emotions😳😢😡😡😤!"
15. Jessie J
"God bless your soul Sandra | #sandrabland | Change needs to come |Justice needs to be served | Heart… https://instagram.com/p/5fV79mQ0aw/ "
16. Jackee Harry
"It's time y'all, it's time.." #SandraBland #BlackLivesMatter
"In memory of #SandraBland these things don't make no kinda sense "
18. Holly Robinson Peete
I really don't look forward to having ANOTHER difficult conversation w my kids tonight...but here we go again😧💔 #SandraBland #SayHerName 😢
19. Jeffrey White
Sadly, doesn't matter by whose hand she died. Unjustified arrested set the outcome in motion. The state murdered her. #JusticeForSandraBland
Sandra could have been your mother, sister, aunt, friend or if she wasn't killed the community outreach advisor A&M. #SandraBland
21. Joan Smalls
"My heart is broken. Sending my deepest condolence to her family and friends. May you find Strength, Peace and Justice. When will this stop? #EqualityForAll #RIP #Why #SayHerName
22. Gladys Knight
Sandra Bland.... #SayHerName #SandraBland
23. Cara Delevigne
Things need to change NOW #SANDRABLAND #Justice #Equality
24. Meek Mill
"Rip to that young lady that lost her life about a traffic stop! 🙏 ima make sure I pray for her and her family! 🙏😄😄😄"