From Bachelorette To Bride: New City, New House, But No New Friends Because My Old Ones Are Better!

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no-new-friendsEverything seemed to be lining up at the same time. My fiancé started his new job, we had gotten engaged, I FINALLY found someone to rent out my house in Connecticut and a class I was supposed to take that fall in New York was cancelled at the last minute. As a business owner, my work is basically wherever I am. As long as I have my laptop, iPad, iPhone and wireless connection, I can work from anywhere. So with all of the stars aligned, I figured I should take some time and head to his city to “see what’s up.”

He moved to a city I once lived in years ago. I once had a very sincere love for it. You can’t beat the cost of living and I had a ball there in my twenties with my numerous friends. With everything working out the way it did, we both agreed to give this place a try to see if we wanted to live there permanently.

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One of my good girlfriends took me to the airport two days after we got engaged and I had packed three obnoxiously huge suitcases full of clothes and shoes. I ended up selling all of my furniture to my new tenants and friends. I sold everything including my utensils and glassware. I saw no need to put anything in storage because there was no guarantee that I was coming back and I figured we would be getting all new everything via our registry, so why bother with this old crap?

Anywho, once my girlfriend dropped me off to the airport and saw all of the bags I had the curbside attendants retrieve from the car, she immediately got on the phone and sent BBMs (remember Blackberries?!) to all of our friends. “I think Nina is secretly moving away from New York and she just ain’t telling us.” The truth of the matter is I still had no idea what was going on. I mean, I loved my friends in New York, but I also knew I could work from home from some place cheaper so my fiancé and I could save money. I had no answers for anybody. We were on a blind mission, dealing with a fresh engagement, his new job, a new city and not a clue as to what we were doing.

Though I love my job as a business owner and I really love working from home, I started to cast my net looking for additional work. I never know what God is up to, so I always say a prayer for direction, try a million and one things, and just watch things land where they may.

My fiancé was ecstatic to have me there with him. He was so happy to have me there, he told me he had a gift for me upon my arrival. Come to find out, the gift was a new set of pots and pans. That sh*& wasn’t for me! It was for him, so he could now have home cooked meals everyday upon returning from work!

We got into a groove. He would wake up, go to work while I stayed home and worked. The flexibility in my schedule also allowed me to jog during the day. I would jog up to the neighborhood grocery store, get food for the evening, and jog back home with groceries in hand. It wasn’t too early to get started on my wedding time fine program.

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Everything was cool, except for one thing.

I WAS BORED OUT OF MY DAMN MIND!!!

This was no New York, my friends in this “new” city were different due to maturity and new responsibilities and the “homeboys” I thought I had stopped returning my calls as soon as I told them I was getting married. I was applying for additional work, but received little to no call backs and absolutely no interviews. I even planned an evening out with some of my girls from college, only to be semi-stood up when they invited me to dinner but failed to tell me which location to go to. I sat in my fiancé’s car for over 30 minutes waiting on one of them to call me back so I would know exactly where I was supposed to go, but no luck.

I remember walking back into our apartment, feeling defeated. I was bored, I missed our New York friends, I had nobody to hang out with, the city was not New York in terms of entertainment; I was not interested in making new friends or joining new organizations to meet new people because I was not trying to get us into a new circle of friends with people I don’t know.

Now, let me explain this. Our circle of friends in New York is the best. It’s a mixture of married, engaged, coupled up and single professional people who we all trust. I can leave my fiancé with my girlfriends and not worry about them trying the system. I feel no ways awkward when one of my single homegirls asks him to change a light in her car right after dinner or help them move some boxes. I know the men who we hang out with, though they tend to get rowdy at times, are good dudes who do not disrespect their wives and girlfriends. I trust these folks.

All in all, this unfortunate night out with the girls that didn’t happen, coupled with my boredom, along with not finding a job to occupy the extra time I had on my hands and I was ready to go. So that night, I admitted defeat. I had been there for almost three months and it really dawned on me. That failure to connect with my old girlfriends was the last straw and he knew it. I was driving him so crazy, he offered to fly one of my girlfriends down from New York just so I would give him some peace.

I walked in, looked at him in his confused daze mixed with “why are you back so soon, where are your girlfriends and PLEASE don’t ask me to get dressed and take you anywhere” and I uttered these final words to him.

“We are NOT staying here. Don’t get comfortable.”

Thank God he felt the same way.

About the Author: She holds multiple degrees, is a natural born socialite, a business owner, an extreme exerciser of faith and a realist. After 3 years of dating and a year of being engaged, she is ready to tell the truth about what to expect when you are transitioning from being a single woman with no worries to a future wife. For the sake of these articles, let’s just call her Nina. After all, that was here “Club Name” for over 15 years….so yeah, introducing Nina.

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