A couple months ago, we discovered this amazing angry breakup letter from a Dartmouth student on Facebook, who was calling out her lowdown dirty boyfriend from dumping her and his even more lowdown and dirty rebound chick for, well, being a rebound chick. Since last week’s posting of our favorite new viral letter from a sorority girl, we went back in to our vault, dug this out and decided to share it with the masses. We had previously thought better of it, but, it’s really good. There’s great use of caps, cussing, super elipses and even tonal directions. And of course, it ends with a scripture (only Black women).
So here’s the short version of the story. This author’s boyfriend was cheating on her with a new girl, who is laughably called “rebound girl” throughout the entire letter. This all came out at Dartmouth’s homecoming , where it seems like the girls ended up confronting each other in the guys dorm room. And this all took place over “the worst 7 days of her life” which, to be fair, in college time feels like two months, because college is way intense. Oh, and apparently this is typical of the Dartmouth dating scene–or just in life, period.
I’m quite partial to the opening lines:
Calling out the BITCHASSNESS in 2013!………And the Emmy Award for BEST 2012 PERFORMANCE goes to [first name &last name redacted]! “Don’t tell me you’re sorry, cuz you’re not….Mmmmm baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught. But you put on a quite a show for 2 YEARS! Really had me going….very entertaining…but it’s OVER NOW…Go on and Take a Bow! (Rihanna Voice)
You gotta love that she establishes she’s straight cray cray from the outset in song. She goes on:
We were exclusive until Dartmouth 2012 Homecoming, and then you tried to make me a sacrificial lamb and throw me under the bus to spare this trifling poor excuse of a female, [first name redacted] Bitchass [lkast name redacted]……….you really deserved that KNUCKLE SANDWICH ON NOV. 29….glad I was able to serve it up for ya! ;)
And to prove how exclusive she and this guy were, she shares this incident…
Most importantly I didn’t know ANYTHING about you until DAY 2 of being in his room…..and if it wasn’t for that little episode of disrespect when he in front of you ASKED ME FOR PERMISSION TO F*CK YOU IN HIS ROOM….I would’ve NEVER KNOWN ABOUT YOU…..please get real…..
Wait, what? He asked you if he could cheat on you with her in front of you? We’re confused. Oh and then there’s this gem:
PLEASE DON’T LIE ON ME!!!! *Nene RHOA Voice I HAVE NEVER THREATENED YOU OR [FIRST NAME REDACTED]. AND DEFINITELY DON’T LIE ON ME IN A PUBLIC SPHERE! #WOMPwomp
But this one right here is my favorite:
You HAVE A HOE MENTALITY and LAY DOWN LIKE LINOLEUM for this a**hole. THIS IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST PROBLEMS WITH THE DARTMOUTH DATING SCENE.
Got to give it to her on that one, “lay down like linoleum” is awesome and so old. Between that, “burst your bubble,” and “knuckle sandwich,” she’s like the oldest southern preacher’s daughter ever. And just in case you think she’d regret publishing this…
**To anyone who feels so inclined to criticize me and call this drama or vindictive…please you can suck a d%ck–this is my love life
And since she now knows who her real friends are and how crappy her boyfriend is, she has to give thanks:
The Silver Lining: I have finally seen the TRUTH about several people who were POSING in my life as Friends…when they really weren’t. Oh what glory in how GOD works it all out!
Read the full (unedited) letter below:
Calling out the BITCHASSNESS in 2013!………And the Emmy Award for BEST 2012 PERFORMANCE goes to [first & last name redacted] !
“Don’t tell me you’re sorry, cuz you’re not….Mmmmm baby when I know you’re only sorry you got caught. But you put on a quite a show for 2 YEARS! Really had me going….very entertaining…but it’s OVER NOW…Go on and Take a Bow! (Rihanna Voice)
1. [first name redacted], You are a certified b$tch n$gga for the following reasons: Any man who PUSHES me and then can’t even admit your actions is a total punk bitch.
Any man who tries to SMASH me between two cars in order to SILENCE me from telling from the truth to the other woman ie: Nov. 29 (I have recorded footage) is a total punk bitch.
I have never seen a grown man RUN AWAY FULL SPEED from me and admit being scared….that was truly a first on Nov.29!
We were exclusive until Dartmouth 2012 Homecoming, and then you tried to make me a sacrificial lamb and throw me under the bus to spare this trifling poor excuse of a female, [first name redacted] Bitchass Brooks……….you really deserved that KNUCKLE SANDWICH ON NOV. 29….glad I was able to serve it up for ya! ;)
Any man who invites me to his room under the guise of us being exclusive and then kicks me out on the day of Hurricane Sandy is a BITCH MADE NIGGA…thanks for the 180$ though–it was the least you could do, I’d say.
Rebound [first name redacted], this “relationship” is not legitimate to me, and never will be. You are constantly trying to PROJECT…..but honey as I already told you, you will NEVER ESCAPE THAT THIS MAN HAS BEEN LYING TO YOU SINCE DAY #1 about me…AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, HE NEVER CLAIMED YOU TO ME even on Nov. 29, and likely never will. AND SORRY TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE…but if you really think he’s over me, you’re mistaken…..you are the rebound b$tch…so I’m still laughing at you! Of course, you won’t believe any of this…but then again, he has been lying to you about his feelings for me and our relationship since the very beginning. Most importantly I didn’t know ANYTHING about you until DAY 2 of being in his room…..and if it wasn’t for that little episode of disrespect when he in front of you ASKED ME FOR PERMISSION TO FUCK YOU IN HIS ROOM….I would’ve NEVER KNOWN ABOUT YOU…..please get real…..
Rebound [first name redacted], YOU ARE SO THIRSTY FOR THE PENIS that you go and throw shade and talk about me to [first name redacted] in order to break up our friendship? Girl, this is why I have no respect for you. I’m fly enough that I don’t have to compete, but if I ever took it that level, I would NOT NEED to talk about another girl to bring her guy closer to me. You are really sad.
Rebound [first name redacted], THE ONLY REASON I HAVE POSTED THIS IS TO DISPELTHE LIES STARTED BY YOU IN THE EMAIL WITH MY NAME IN IT TO THE TABARD EXEC BOARD. PLEASE DON’T LIE ON ME!!!! *Nene RHOA Voice I HAVE NEVER THREATENED YOU OR [FIRST NAME REDACTED]. AND DEFINITELY DON’T LIE ON ME IN A PUBLIC SPHERE! #WOMPwomp
Rebound [first name redacted], you are a punk b$tch as well……makes sense why you’d end up with Mr. DODO bird. ANY WOMAN WHO TRIES TO START DRAMA AND CANT FINISH IT….NEEDS TO TAKE A SEAT–BUT BESIDES THAT ANY WOMAN WHO CAN’T OWN UP TO HER ACTIONS is……you guessed it—— A Certified B$tchass
ANY WOMAN WHO TAKES DELIGHT IN the DOWNFALL OR ANOTHER WOMAN’S RELATIONSHIP, REALLY NEEDS TO CHECK HERSELF, BEFORE KARMA DOES…. I have never in my life witnessed the treachery that this girl exemplified during homecoming. YOU ADMITTED KNOWING ABOUT ME…..and YOU APOLOGIZED PROFUSELY AND REPEATEDLY AS SOON AS YOU WALKED INTO [FIRST NAME REDACTED]’S ROOM—-I think it’s very clear where we both stand…I would never in my life apologize to another grown woman if I’m the legitimate female in the situation…You HAVE A HOE MENTALITY and LAY DOWN LIKE LINOLEUM for this asshole. THIS IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST PROBLEMS WITH THE DARTMOUTH DATING SCENE. Yes [first name redacted], lived a DOUBLE LIFE, but a Dog will be a Dog………Repeatedly time after time, I’ve seen WOMEN TEAR DOWN OTHER WOMEN FOR SOME DICK—PLEASE STOP. It’s all good girl, 2 INSECURE PEOPLE FEED OFF OF EACH OTHER …I’m sure this is the biggest ego boost you’ve ever experienced in your life. Enjoy while it lasts
**To anyone who feels so inclined to criticize me and call this drama or vindictive…please you can suck a dick–this is my love life. [first name redacted] has tried to COVER THE TRUTH–Hence blocking me on facebook–otherwise I would’ve TAGGED DIRECTLY–YALL KNOW I DON’T CARE. [first name redacted] and [first name redacted] (BOTH STARTED THIS ENTIRE SITUATION & made numerous offenses) and put me through the worst 7 days of my life, disrespecting, trying to humiliate, embarrass, berate, and degrade me….Yet STILL I RISE…
PROVERBS 23:16 “For a just man falls seven times, and rises up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief. Rejoice not when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles: Lest the LORD see it, and it displease him, and he turn away his wrath from him. Fret not yourself because of evil men, neither be you envious at the wicked: For there shall be no reward to the evil man; the candle of the wicked shall be put out. My son, fear you the LORD and the king: and meddle not with them that are given to change: For their calamity shall rise suddenly; and who knows the ruin of them both?”
The Silver Lining: I have finally seen the TRUTH about several people who were POSING in my life as Friends…when they really weren’t. Oh what glory in how GOD works it all out! And I’ve learned from my past mistakes and am making room in my heart for the RIGHT GUY…unlike [first name redacted], I will be making sure I’m over my last relationship before jumping into a new one out of spite–Ready to make moves with this new NFL man (Dallas Cowboys Style ;)
I REALLY DIDN’T WANT TO HAVE TO USE PROFANE WORDS, BUT SOMETIMES THEY BEST CAPTURE THE ESSENCE OF A PERSON’S TRUE CHARACTER!
College is awesome. What do you think Beauties, did she get revenge or make herself look ridiculous?
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Celebs Tweet Their Thoughts About #JusticeForSandraBland
1. Jesse Williams
#SandraBland's treatment while attempting to travel freely on HER public roadways has been acknowledged as unlawful. She is already dead.
2. Taraji P. Henson
"SAY HER NAME #SandraBland"
3. Ava DuVernay
"'Why are you arresting me?' Because you know your rights. Because I can. Because no one'll believe you. #SandraBland"
4. Kim Kardashian
#WhatHappenedToSandraBland We need answers!!!! This is NOT ok! This is all shady! They need to own up to this & tell the truth!
5. Jussie Smollet
"A loss 4 words. #SandraBlandMatters #BlackLivesMatter 👈🏿tell me this should change once the nation shows that we do. "
6. Snoop Dogg
🙏🌹. Sandra. Rip. 🌹🌹
7. K. Michelle
R.I.P to this queen. This could've been any of us. My prayers go out to her family. #sandrabland https://instagram.com/p/5fvlO_AhCf/
8. Gabrielle Union
SAY HER NAME!!! #SandraBland #SandraBland #SandraBland #SayHerName
"We must get to the cause of #sandrabland death because this CANNOT happen again #deathorfreedom"
10. David Banner
"When will we fight back. A man's duty on earth is to protect women and children. Where are the gangsters? Preachers? We need you. Please."
11. Nicki Minaj
"Rest In Peace #SandraBland"
12. Talib Kweli
"We the people ask @LorettaLynch to investigate #SandraBland #KimberleeRandleKing RETWEET "
Signs. Signs. Signs all around us. The Message is Here. #SandraBland
14. Missy Elliot
"When I look at the #SandraBland traffic video it brings so many emotions😳😢😡😡😤!"
15. Jessie J
"God bless your soul Sandra | #sandrabland | Change needs to come |Justice needs to be served | Heart… https://instagram.com/p/5fV79mQ0aw/ "
16. Jackee Harry
"It's time y'all, it's time.." #SandraBland #BlackLivesMatter
"In memory of #SandraBland these things don't make no kinda sense "
18. Holly Robinson Peete
I really don't look forward to having ANOTHER difficult conversation w my kids tonight...but here we go again😧💔 #SandraBland #SayHerName 😢
19. Jeffrey White
Sadly, doesn't matter by whose hand she died. Unjustified arrested set the outcome in motion. The state murdered her. #JusticeForSandraBland
Sandra could have been your mother, sister, aunt, friend or if she wasn't killed the community outreach advisor A&M. #SandraBland
21. Joan Smalls
"My heart is broken. Sending my deepest condolence to her family and friends. May you find Strength, Peace and Justice. When will this stop? #EqualityForAll #RIP #Why #SayHerName
22. Gladys Knight
Sandra Bland.... #SayHerName #SandraBland
23. Cara Delevigne
Things need to change NOW #SANDRABLAND #Justice #Equality
24. Meek Mill
"Rip to that young lady that lost her life about a traffic stop! 🙏 ima make sure I pray for her and her family! 🙏😄😄😄"