The mother/daughter relationship is a beautiful union that’s defined by unconditional love, support and guidance. Many people boast strong relationships with their mothers, however there are plenty of people in the world who love their mothers, but have a hard time liking them. In a recent post titled, Mothers Who Bring Their Daughters Down by Soledad O’Brien, the uncomfortable truth was placed in front of my face.
“These are mothers who engage in a stunning role reversal at the very moment their children need them most, demanding their daughters become caregivers, bail them out of trouble, support them when they can barely support themselves.”
She profiled a young woman, also named Danielle, who struggles in the relationship she has with her mother. Danielle’s mom is a drug addict who has taken advantage of her since she’s come into adulthood. While living with her dying grandmother, Danielle’s mother, Regina was nothing less than a burden to her.
“Danielle bought her [grandmother] a car, and Regina got drunk and had an accident. The car was impounded. Danielle paid a fine. Regina’s boyfriend was stopped on a DUI, which was another fine. Then a relative crashed the car, leading to hundreds of dollars in repairs. Regina recalls how Danielle stood by her. ‘She took care of six or seven payday loans. She took care of me,’ she said. ‘She is a good person to lean on.’”
And therein lies the debacle folks–when time goes by and you become your mother’s main source of support financially and emotionally, and she becomes a burden. Danielle’s case is extreme and many other people have faced and are facing this kind of dramatic and confusing ushering into adulthood. However, dependent mothers are not only drug addicts. This type of case is apparent in other scenarios too. According to The Daily Beast, “The problem is particularly acute among children of the poor and of substance abusers, children who already face obstacles getting ahead.”