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4. Get off your butt: It’s normal to keep a distance or hold a moping party the first week but when your friends barge in for the ultimate intervention, don’t fight it. After a horrible breakup I made sure I was out, having sleepovers, talking about the future- Anything to bring me back to center.

5. Be kind and thoughtful to yourself: After breakups it’s quite normal to self-loathe, self pity and constantly have “I should’ve” scenarios replaying in your head. Remember what caused the break up and why you must move on then schedule days of love. Treat yourself to things you would do when you are head over heels in love: Schedule a mani and pedi session, go to a day spa (Tip: during weekdays you can get better prices), go see a movie solo. Be kind and gentle with yourself as much as possible.

I know it’s hard to talk to others about the ex you can’t seem to get rid of. People will side eye, roll their eyes and shake their heads at the mention of him/her for the ten thousandth time. Their opinions don’t matter; at the end of the day are you happy in this semi-relationship? It’s time to stop being the victim, the one who can’t break the cycle, and it’s time to get your power back!

That’s right! No one is able to get inside your head or mess with your heart unless you allow them to. What you had wasn’t all that great or you would still be together trying to work through issues, let it go. Let. It. Go.

It’s time to make room for better; you are not alone in this and never will be once you start to build back control over your love life.

If you know that you are stuck in limbo trying to break it off with an ex but feel like you will just keep running back please feel free to reach out. I answer each email personally contact@goddessintellect.com.

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The grand return of the Melanin Awards amplifies and honors the finest Black-owned beauty brands with honest reviews, and discusses the evolution of beauty in Hip-Hop culture.