I hear your cries…it’s tough, there are no good available men left, you keep getting approached by scrubs with big dreams, and low self-esteem. Yes, I’m still listening. You said the ones who walk the walk and talk the talk are not making you moist…right? I also heard that the one you DO want can’t stop talking about the chick who stomped the yard on his heart and that you don’t know why he doesn’t see what he has in front of him! Uh huh I heard you the first time.
It’s my turn to talk now, so may I?
I want you to take a small trip down memory lane. How did he, yes the he that is CLEARLY unavailable, how did he catch your attention?
It’s important for any woman who is caught up in a tornado of love drama to pay attention to the sweet beginnings, the time before he even opened his mouth. How did he get in?
Well, while you think about that. I’ve comprised a list of 3 games I’ve noticed that men are winning at. They’re the most simple basic chick-inspired games that a lot of us have or are currently falling for.
When I lay them out you may feel as though I’m giving you this information from a holier than thou perspective, nothing could be further from the truth. I told y’all, and keep tellin’ y’all, I could not sit up here and coach folks without having fallen from grace more than I’d like to admit.
3 Games…let’s go!
1) Facebook Pimpin’: I used to be painfully shy and shy as in, I’m afraid to date shy. So the internet became a point of power for me. When I found out that I could create a profile and hook up with whoever I wanted I cartwheeled internally. It also left me vulnerable so I would mistake an inbox message or compliment online as something serious. It’s embarrassing to admit that, but it happens. All some dudes need are a few PX90 photos and a few deep status updates and he’s money. Don’t let that be your door to relationship drama. Nothing beats in person interaction; you get to know a person without Instagram photo glam and internet facades.
2) A Walk Down Memory Lane: Remember the dude who couldn’t make up his mind and needed space? The one who wasn’t able to tell you that he wasn’t into you aka that he wanted to “taste another dish”? Well he will say anything for a second helping even when his intentions are to repeat the same pattern. He knows that you will see his temporary “awakening” as a sign that he REALLY cares, so he will lay on the lines, start to do all the things you wanted him to do months ago until BAM he gets back in. Is this a walk down memory lane necessary? Were you fine before he sauntered back in? Most likely yes, so keep it brief and continue on.
3) Pen Pals: I don’t knock all long distance relationships, but if you have no history together and all of a sudden he’s in “love” and hits you up every day because you have this “connection” that he can’t explain. Pen pals are schedule fillers but I’m convinced there is something more productive and exciting you can do with this idle time. Pen pals are men/women who make regular contact electronically but rarely follow up with in person visits. They seem like the perfect partner because they are far and electronically we can pretty much create perfect people. When you have in person contact with anyone – THAT is when s*it gets real. I want you to print this article out and highlight that last line if this is something you go through often. It’s not LEGIT until a consistent in-person relationship is formed.
My blood pressure! I know it’s gets lonely, I know it feels better to have a boo or boo thing, or sweetie boo- whatever. But I can also think of a million reasons why you need to avoid the 3 TRAPS I mentioned above. As much as we want to think that everyone is upfront and honest in their dealings with us, they are not. It’s worth it to be lonely for a bit in order to treat yourself and ensure that others treat you with respect and dignity.
If it’s easy to get to you it will be easy to let you go…keep that in mind.
If you’re struggling with how to keep from being lonely and falling for games men play, you’ll really find my “From Friend To Boyfriend” class on Wednesday very helpful. Sign up today firstname.lastname@example.org only $15 to register and comes with the truth & personal workbook!