Are You Sabotaging Your Chance At Having A Real Relationship?

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black couple arguingDon’t you hate when you start talking to a new guy and half way through the first phone conversation he’s like, “I’m not into the games”, or “females be playing games”. I know my first inclination is to think: Omg I want to hang up I hope he doesn’t get into some sob story about his ex-OR- what is he implying? Is this is a warning of some kind?

And that’s why I’m glad I have guy friends with player tendencies (PLATONIC) in my life , who truly do not want relationships of any kind. They are the most honest and forthright gentlemen a gal could have in her life. I did some “I’m a blogger, but don’t worry I won’t blog about you” prodding into some of their “sob stories” to find out what kind of games women played that ultimately left them to prefer the hot potato pass it on single life to the shikkity shack it up life.

Of course you know that men hoe to heal so I support them on their journey, just like women repeatedly date jerks with different faces to heal. If we only listened to our men with more patience, compassion and understanding you’ll see that it’s not really us against them, says the Battle of The Sexes Show creator it’s us against our short attention spans.

MUST READ:Are Your High Standards For A Mate Keeping You Alone?

1)      Revenge Sex: This is the worst type of sex to have, mainly because it doesn’t feel good! I don’t care how angry and horny you are, having sex with someone to prove a point to someone who is not in the room and would be hurt by your actions is selfish and immature. Your hot head movements could lead to disease, the breakup of a friendship (if you’re trifling enough to stay in the circle) or pregnancy. Clean the slate, if you’re hurt take some time out to yourself and be real about your situation and surroundings.

2)      Who wears the pants: Just because you sit at the head of the boardroom table at work drilling into to-do lists and budgets all day doesn’t mean that every single man wants to be your doormat when you come home.  In fact none of them do. Everyone wants to be treated with respect remember that. You work because in this day and age you can, just as quickly as you get to the top you can fall fast to the bottom the same way. Never talk down to a man or anyone for that matter. I don’t care what you saw your mama do to your daddy, or what she taught you. There are ways to be clear, strong and thorough without putting others down.

MUST READ:He Doesn’t Call Anymore- What Should You Do?

3)      Selective hearing: I will repeat this until I’m blue in the face- when a man says he’s not ready for or does not want a relationship or shows you he is not ready for a relationship by withdrawing or just being wham bam honest- BELIEVE IT. This does not make him a dog, this does not mean you have been sent by Jesus to change him, this does not mean he’s scared or shy, this does not mean that without you up under him he’ll shrivel up and die…it means exactly what he is telling you. It’s not that women don’t hear the words; it’s that we are too devastated by honesty and blatant messages to leave. We naturally look to men for leadership and yes in a good relationship a man is coincidentally a good leader, but being a leader does not mean he’s your superhero.  He’s not ready girl, it’s not his fault, he’s not a dick, he’s still human, and he just doesn’t share the same opinion as you. The last thing you want is a make belief commitment that wastes valuable time and energy.

I hope this helped someone today. Sticking around treating yourself like crap will only attract more crap into your life…that is 110% guarantee because a) I lived it b) I still see people living it.

Are there any games you’ve observed or experienced folks playing that helps sabotage their chance at a real relationship that I’ve missed?

Speak on it…..

Announcement: Join me for a one-day only How To Get Your Boy Friend To Be Your Boyfriend chat based on my most recent Lipstick Wisdom post on November 14th @ 8pm Eastern Standard Time. Please RSVP by emailing me contact@goddessintellect.com

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