Not every woman (or man) that holds on to their virginity is socially challenged, unattractive or otherwise doomed to never be kissed. Many women that hold on to their flowers are great catches that aren’t necessarily waiting on their husbands, they’ve just chosen to keep their legs closed until they feel ready.
Such is the case with Monica and Melissa (names have been altered to protect the innocent), two very beautiful women with amazing personalities to match. Both of them are successful in their careers and have hearts of gold. It’s obvious that these ladies are both ideal mates. Any man would thank his lucky stars to have either one of them on their arms.
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However, after some time, that very same man may grow weary of Monica and Melissa because both of these 20-something ladies have made decisions not to have sex–just yet. Monica’s had a few boyfriends and some hookups, but has managed to keep them from climbing between her legs, while Melissa’s awkward demeanor around men keeps her virginity snugly tucked away.
We asked them about everything from oral sex to their sexiest encounter to their challenges and advantages in waiting. Check out the juicy details below!
Monica
Have you ever been in the midst of a hookup and wanted it to go all the way?
Yes. Once in college I thought I was ready to go all the way with my boyfriend. I had a condom in my night stand and one night while we were messing around I told him to get it. He leans over and gets the condom out of the drawer. I was in love with this man so I thought I was ready to take that next step. He asked me if I was sure and I said, “Yes.” He said, “You know we don’t have to do this” and I said, “I know but I want to.” He asked if I was sure again and at that moment I said, “Maybe we should wait.” I think it was the fact that he was so concerned about me that made me look at the seriousness of what was about to happen. He just said “Ok babe, it’s ok” and gave me a passionate kiss.
How do you keep things from going all the way?
I typically go as far as my partner is able to go without “losing it,” for a lack of a better word. I have an extremely high sense of self control, so my limitations are based on the guy I’m dealing with.
Does your virginity intimidate men?
I don’t think it intimidates them at all. I think men see it one of two ways:
1) As a conquest. This actually says more about the guy than it does about me. He’s just trying to see if he can be the one to get it since no one else has. This is to stroke his ego and make him think he’s some Mandingo when I really just see him as a boy trying to score a homerun. These guys usually strike out quick.
2) The second guy sees this as his chance to be the one and only. This man is usually trying to settle down and loves the idea the he could be your one and only. There’s never any pressure to go beyond your comfort levels as he knows once he gets you, he has you. The only tricky part with this guys is knowing if you want to be with him forever ever ha!
Do you consider oral sex, sex. Have you had it before? What’s your experience?
I do think it’s sex but not intercourse. Of course I’ve had it before. I’m not a nun haha! I love receiving! Who doesn’t!? For years, I would only be on the receiving end as I didn’t have to do more for the guys I dealt with. I’ve only returned the favor to three guys and two of them wanted to marry me!
Do you give hand jobs?
I do, but I think I’m horrible haha!
Do you think your “everything but sex” is enough for your partner?
It’s enough for the partner who wants to be with me. There are plenty of women having sex and if that’s what they need [from me] then I’m not the one for them. The guy that’s with me knows and respects that I’m worth the wait. I’ve had a few long term relationships to prove this is the case.
You’ve waited this long–what is your ideal way to lose your virginity?
Not sure there is an ideal way, but I know I want it to be with someone I truly love, honor and respect. Someone I would want to be the father of my kids–someone who values me. If I have those things then I think it will all be fine.
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Melissa
What’s the sexiest encounter you’ve experienced?
My first makeout session was in my senior year in college. A couple months before graduation, my friend walked me back to my apartment after the bar closed and came with me into my apartment. We started talking about kissing (we had been friends for a couple years but always talked about school, life etc, no real personal/intimate details) and so I told him that I had never kissed a guy. He asked me, “So what you’re just going to graduate without kissing anyone?” I shrugged my shoulders as I looked up at him. “Do you need someone to do this?” Before I could say anything he leaned in, grabbed my face, pulled me close and we started making out (just like a movie! That was awesome only because I’m such a sap. It was just too bad that the making out was AWFUL!
What’s the easiest way of you getting pleasured?
It’s cheesy but probably going slow. It’s more intimate.
Are you waiting for marriage?
Nope.
Does your virginity intimidate men?
It probably would if I ever told any guys, but I never bring it up. If they want a one night stand, I tell them I have to work early. What would they think if they just met me and clearly was just looking for a hookup? Awkwardddddd.
Sources suggest that before having sex, you KNOW yourself. You know what I mean–self exploration. How often do you self pleasure? Do you know your vagina inside and out?
Not that often. It’s a stupid excuse, but I don’t have time. I’m too tired at the end of the day. Plus I don’t want my roommates to walk in or something haha! Also, I dunno if it’s true, but I’ve been told that because I’m a virgin I don’t know what I’m missing so I don’t feel the need to do that as often as someone else would.
You’ve waited this long–what is your ideal way to lose your virginity?
I honestly haven’t thought about it a ton, but ideally someone I know or maybe have been dating a little. I don’t want it to be a one night stand and I don’t need to be dating the guy for forever, but I want to make sure I’m comfortable with it. I feel like if the opportunity arises, I’ll know.
What are some of the inner thoughts of a 23-year-old virgin?
It’s not that I’m waiting for marriage or anything or that I don’t want to do it, but besides being asked for one night stands, the possibility of even dating someone hasn’t occurred.
As a 22 year old that still has her virginity, there are a lot of thoughts that go through your mind every day, pretty much every hour and it’s not about sex. I walk around and see everyone coupled up and I wonder how they found each other. How did they find someone and I haven’t? That sounds awful, but it’s true. You start to think down on yourself–am I too fat, too ugly or too mean? Am I too standoffish? What can I do to help the situation?
The sad part is, I don’t even feel like I even need someone to have sex with. It’s just the idea of someone to talk to and text during the day, or someone to go to dinner with at night, or just the comfort of cuddling with someone when you’re going to bed just sounds nice to me.
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