5 Signs You’re Dating An Insecure Man

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unhappy black coupleI’m attracted to an alpha male who stays walking with an assertive and confident demeanor. One who stays calm under the pressure and reacts to opportunity as opposed to emotional outbursts from others. I need that rock. It gets exhausting trying to keep it together for everyone all the time so a shoulder to lie on when weak makes all the difference in the world and an alpha male provides a strong one.

I’ve come to realize that even the most machismo of gentleman have insecurities, shoot we all do. Some of us learn to meet them head on in emotional warfare others cower in its allegedly powerful presence.

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It’s important as a woman to be able to spot a man who has allowed his insecurities to spill over into his relationships romantic and not. We like to think that we can rehabilitate the wounded and work with him, but not everyone is a candidate for such care, especially when nothing comparable can be reciprocated.

Having insecurities is normal imposing your insecurities on others with the intention of inflicting pain is not.

Here are 5 signs that you’re dating an insecure man:

  • He Tells You That He Doesn’t Deserve You: It took me awhile to learn this but a man who utters those words is indirectly telling you to downgrade. I used to think “well he must really care because-“GIRL! He is afraid you will leave him for greener pastures. This is a problem if you’re looking for someone who will uplift you.
  • He Demands To Know About The Personal Conversations: If a man is overly concerned or interested in the personal heart to hearts you have with your friends and family he is looking for an angle at which to manipulate you and this might be it. This information should be offered willingly in the flow of conversation if you feel comfortable or not at all. What you discuss with your friends and family should stay put.
  • Constantly Compares Himself to Other Men: Whether it’s his friends, members of his football team or eye candy of the week on my girl Sunny’s blog, if this man is always comparing himself to others or is overly concerned with whether or not you find them attractive, start your engines.
  • Big Dream Quotient 10, Follow Through Negative: He has talent charm and the potential to go far but he gets in his own way of making them happen. You may have been cheering on the sideline with your pompoms but he experiences one setback and cowers. It’s not that this man will never achieve greatness, but he is not ready so the big question is- are you ready for a man who is not ready to soar with you?
  • The Company He Keeps Constantly Drain Him: We all will find ourselves in this position sooner or later, where the company we keep becomes almost unrecognizable. The insecure man needs a cushion of friends and family who may drain him because he has become accustom to the bullshit and finds normalcy in it. The secure man dictates and chooses the company around him and dedicates more time to those who uplift and strengthen him.

I could not have come up with this list without living it. I’ve said this several times before- everyone in our lives mirror us in some way. What do you want to see in your mirror? What type of man or woman do you want by your side?

Do you have any signs to add to the list? Please share, I’d love to know!

On June.24th I’m hosting an event called “Battle of The Sexes- Is Chivalry Dead Or In A Coma?” inside Peridot Resto Lounge in Toronto. I’m hoping you’ll join in our discussion. Private access to live streaming of the event is available for a limited number of ticket holders who are unable to make it out. Purchase tickets here.

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