Having your heart broken sucks, having your heart thrown out at sea to navigate through deep and troubled waters on the verge of the end of a relationship also sucks. A breakup can leave one so exasperated that your emotions begin to take precedence over your physical state. I recall being called out on weight loss one winter after a bad break up. It took someone else speaking up for me to even realize that my eating habits were off or that my pants were all incredibly loose around the waist- crying and over-thinking had become priority.
That was a few years ago but the thought of me losing weight on an already tiny frame was when something in me snapped. I hurt my own body and scooped out a large helping of my power unto his plate and for what? At the time you couldn’t tell me anything, and if you did it had to be what I wanted to hear because everything else made it hurt more. I only wanted to hear how miserable he must be feeling and that he will come crawling back, but as the man I want him to be, not who he already revealed himself to be.
Behind almost every man I’ve met who is somewhat cynical or in his words, “realistic” about love is hidden a story of the one who got away or toyed with the speckle of hope that all young bucks have when they venture into the wacky world of relationships. Behind every woman is a series of interesting tales, and always of one who knew what they had, loved what they had but couldn’t hold up their part of the agreement.
I’ve experienced that men are a lot quicker to end a contract that involves any complicated clauses than women. It may be easier to get out of a contract than to be in one they don’t quite understand. Women want to re-read twice, get a second set of eyes and Google their way to the answer. To me this means they will jump ship on a woman who is a ten to shimmy barefoot with a woman is a little more than a 5 (in your eyes) because of the less complicated nature of the relationship. Does this 1 to 10 scale have to do with looks, better sex or any concrete factor? Absolutely not!
To me when a woman is a ten to a man, that means she has looks, they have chemistry together, shared experiences and interests, strong feelings, and a complimenting intelligence level. You can be a ten and still not have what it takes to hold that particular person to their word. To the outside world and even to the person whose heart is broken they see perfection but to the one very important part of the equation- the other half- this may not be the case.
One of the hardest lessons I learned was that chemistry, looks, a healthy sex life and a strong bond does not equal a relationship that is necessarily right for both parties.
I don’t have a solution, I really don’t. But I guarantee that broken hearts do get better and more importantly stronger. I wrote this because I have heard about a few very hurtful stories lately and I just want anyone who is going something to know that although you feel alone- you are not. Accept the end and accept that through your pain something better is in store.
Assuming you have had your heart broken….. How long did it take you to get over it? What things did you do to help support your healing? Do you think that broken hearts are capable of being healed?
About the author: Telisha Ng is a freelance writer and author of the Goddess Intellect blog from Toronto, Canada. Connect with her on Twitter, Facebook or send her an email email@example.com.
Also On HelloBeautiful:
Celebs Tweet Their Thoughts About #JusticeForSandraBland
1. Jesse Williams
#SandraBland's treatment while attempting to travel freely on HER public roadways has been acknowledged as unlawful. She is already dead.
2. Taraji P. Henson
"SAY HER NAME #SandraBland"
3. Ava DuVernay
"'Why are you arresting me?' Because you know your rights. Because I can. Because no one'll believe you. #SandraBland"
4. Kim Kardashian
#WhatHappenedToSandraBland We need answers!!!! This is NOT ok! This is all shady! They need to own up to this & tell the truth!
5. Jussie Smollet
"A loss 4 words. #SandraBlandMatters #BlackLivesMatter 👈🏿tell me this should change once the nation shows that we do. "
6. Snoop Dogg
🙏🌹. Sandra. Rip. 🌹🌹
7. K. Michelle
R.I.P to this queen. This could've been any of us. My prayers go out to her family. #sandrabland https://instagram.com/p/5fvlO_AhCf/
8. Gabrielle Union
SAY HER NAME!!! #SandraBland #SandraBland #SandraBland #SayHerName
"We must get to the cause of #sandrabland death because this CANNOT happen again #deathorfreedom"
10. David Banner
"When will we fight back. A man's duty on earth is to protect women and children. Where are the gangsters? Preachers? We need you. Please."
11. Nicki Minaj
"Rest In Peace #SandraBland"
12. Talib Kweli
"We the people ask @LorettaLynch to investigate #SandraBland #KimberleeRandleKing RETWEET "
Signs. Signs. Signs all around us. The Message is Here. #SandraBland
14. Missy Elliot
"When I look at the #SandraBland traffic video it brings so many emotions😳😢😡😡😤!"
15. Jessie J
"God bless your soul Sandra | #sandrabland | Change needs to come |Justice needs to be served | Heart… https://instagram.com/p/5fV79mQ0aw/ "
16. Jackee Harry
"It's time y'all, it's time.." #SandraBland #BlackLivesMatter
"In memory of #SandraBland these things don't make no kinda sense "
18. Holly Robinson Peete
I really don't look forward to having ANOTHER difficult conversation w my kids tonight...but here we go again😧💔 #SandraBland #SayHerName 😢
19. Jeffrey White
Sadly, doesn't matter by whose hand she died. Unjustified arrested set the outcome in motion. The state murdered her. #JusticeForSandraBland
Sandra could have been your mother, sister, aunt, friend or if she wasn't killed the community outreach advisor A&M. #SandraBland
21. Joan Smalls
"My heart is broken. Sending my deepest condolence to her family and friends. May you find Strength, Peace and Justice. When will this stop? #EqualityForAll #RIP #Why #SayHerName
22. Gladys Knight
Sandra Bland.... #SayHerName #SandraBland
23. Cara Delevigne
Things need to change NOW #SANDRABLAND #Justice #Equality
24. Meek Mill
"Rip to that young lady that lost her life about a traffic stop! 🙏 ima make sure I pray for her and her family! 🙏😄😄😄"