In August of 2011, I went to a club with my girlfriends and as the night progressed my eyes locked eyes with this guy across the dance floor. We spoke and exchanged numbers and I also noticed he had a thick accent. So, I asked how long he was in Jamaica for and he said he was leaving the Sunday (it was Wednesday). His friends and my friends spent the rest of our time in the club dancing and enjoying the music.
The following day he invited me to dinner and I learned a little about his background and that he is also Jamaican but he migrated at a young age. He said he was 40-years old (8 years my senior), single and have no kids and he lives alone. He asked if I could spend the rest of his time in Jamaica with him and I said no because I had previous plans (trip to the country to visit my friend’s grandmother who was not doing so well health wise). On the way home he gave me his contact info for the states (work address and home address and numbers) and he promised to stay in touch.
We communicated every day by phone and bbm until October 2011 when he came out to surprise me at my office. I was so happy because I was beginning to like him and he seemed more mature and conscious in his thinking. We spent a week together and he went home, and my issue now is that he met me single and I haven’t been with anyone since meeting him in August. He had said he is not really the texting type, but he will talk on the phone but sometimes I would text in the morning and he would not answer until later that night. He works in construction and I get that the job can be hectic, and when he gets home he falls asleep, but the conversations have gotten less frequent. He has gone a weekend without saying anything and resurfaced saying he went to a funeral and his phone had no signal on it.
Otherwise from that, he has been there when I needed a listening ear. He calls and asks about my mom. He asked how things are in Jamaica, and he shows concern about me in general, but he just seems so distant. I know long distant relationships are the work of the devil. I don’t know if he will be coming back to Jamaica, but do you think I’m reading too much into his actions? – Island Girl Left Afloat
Dear Ms. Island Girl Left Afloat,
Girl, that man was looking for a fling while he was on vacation. He was not looking for a relationship, a girlfriend, or a wife. He wanted to have a good time, and he saw you as a good time piece of ass. Honey, I hope you know that when folks go out of the country, especially to exotic locales and Caribbean Islands, they are not there for love. They are there for sex, parties, and good times. It’s just like going to Vegas – whatever happens there, stays there. He wanted to get in your pants and have you freak his lights out. LMBAO!
But, let’s explore this. There’s one of two things going on with that man. Either he has a slew of women at his disposal and you are just another girl he’s ready to add to the mix. Or, he’s gay/down low and he’s just not that into you.
Let’s discuss the first option of him having a slew of women. He meets you on the island, asks you to dinner the next night, and after conversation you two are feeling one another and then he asks if you two can spend the rest of his time together. Hmmmm, sounds like a player to me. He’s baiting you and just wants to have some frequent available island p***y when he comes back. Think about it: He told you that he was single and lives alone. That I don’t believe. You can believe that bull-ish all you want, but I don’t. Some woman, or women is occupying his time. And, his delayed response in texting, and not calling, uhm, sweetie, again, someone or something is occupying his time. So, you sit afloat on the seas all you want, but know this, no man who is interested in a woman, and I don’t care where she is, will not respond to her texts and calls, or ignore her. He will find a way, come hell or high water, to get in communication with her.
Now, the second option is him being gay/down low. You do remember *cough* *cough* Jonathon Plummer, the ex-husband of Terry McMillan, who posed as a straight man, then married her and used her to get out of Jamaica . Although the circumstances may be different between the stories because the man you’ve met is off the island and not seeking to have a sponsor, but, something is not right with a man being 40-years old, no kids, single, and living alone in the United States. That just seems odd and peculiar, don’t you think? And, he disappears with no communication with you and you have no idea or clue as to where he is, what he’s doing, and whom he’s doing. You see, you’re so captivated by him that you are not paying attention to what can be so painfully obvious. I’m going to repeat this again: He’s 40-years old, no kids, single, and lives alone. DOESN’T THAT SOUND ODD AND PECULIAR?
Now, again, you can sit afloat on those seas and be all starry-eyed and hopelessly in love with the idea and hope that this man is the one for you. Or, you can start being sensible and pay attention to what he’s showing you in regards to his character. I’ve said this a thousand times and I’ll keep saying it: WHEN SOMEONE SHOWS YOU WHO THEY ARE, BELIEVE THEM. STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR SOMEONE ELSE’S BEHAVIOR. He is not that busy that he cannot return a text or phone call. He isn’t the freaking president, or mayor of a major city. He’s not a business tycoon, or a celebrity. He is a construction worker. Girl, stop being naïve and open your eyes and see what’s really going on. He is either playing you and keeping you around with just enough communication so that when he does return to the island he will have some ass waiting on him, or he’s not that interested in you where he finds putting in the time and effort will be worth the long distance calls and travel. WAKE THE HELL UP!!!
And, the reality is that he doesn’t live in Jamaica. And, you’re not moving to the U.S. So, you tell me how this story is going to end? – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend
Make sure to get your copy of my new book, Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
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100 Reasons Why I Can't Stop Looking At Blue Ivy
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2. Blue. #May10 #NYC
3. Blue Ivy & Jay Z Sip Tea
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4. Blue Ivy & Beyonce Smell The Roses
Beyonce seems like the coolest mom.
5. Blue Ivy & Beyonce Soar The Big Skies
6. Blue Ivy & Mommy
7. Daddy & Me
Blue Ivy walks across mommy's at-home photoshoot, but it's the most adorable photobomb ever!
9. One Big Happy Family
The royal family, Bey, Jay & Blue are all out shopping and we're sure they spent our entire life's savings in 30 minutes or less.
10. Beyoncé, Jay Z & Blue in Beverly Hills — Nov. 11
Beyonce in these heels though?!
11. Beyoncé & Blue in NYC — Nov. 4
Look at Blue in her adorable little bow!
12. Beyoncé & Blue spotted in NYC — Nov. 4
Blue holding on to mommy for dear life.
13. Beyoncé & Blue spotted in NYC — Nov. 4
Momma Bey looking fierce with her mini me in tow.
14. Blue dressed as Michael Jackson.
15. Blue & Ivy
Just look at that face. Seriously, Jay could never deny this child! She knows how to make all his mean mugs!
16. Beyoncé, Jay Z & Blue in Beverly Hills — Nov. 11
Look at that cutie!
17. Beyoncé, Jay Z & Blue in Beverly Hills — Nov. 11
OMG Blue in a top knot? Yasss!
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Looks like Blue is taking a walk in mom's shoes...literally.
20. Beyoncé & Blue
There's nothing like being cuddled up in mom's arms.
Blue is looking all kinds of adorable! Look at that left hand go! LOL.
22. Blue On The Big Screen
Bey & Jay look at Blue during a video played at an "On The Run" tour stop. How precious!
23. Pardon Blue's Back
She's growing up so fast! We're loving the top knot. Take that Blue Ivy hair critics!
24. Jump Around
Bey & Blue share an adorable moment on the trampoline. Hello summer!
25. Rocking Some Cute Ponytails
Blue Ivy was spotted with a new 'do! Bey & Jay's mini-me was holding on to her father during a little day stroll.
26. Strolling With Mom & Dad
Blue, Jay and Bey all spotted in East Hampton.
27. Blue Has A Manicure Day With Mama Bey
"Me and my Blue, and my Blue Blue, riding🐝"
28. Hanging Out With Mom
Baby Blue is walking to the door, and it looks like Bey is trying to keep up!
29. Trying On Some Heels
Will Blue be slaying a performance in the near future?
30. Holding On To Mom
Blue looks like she has something to say to Bey.
31. Playing A Game Of Tennis
Blue walks on the tennis court.
32. Cuddling With Mom
Blue & Beyonce have some much-needed cuddle time.
33. Blue Ivy
"The blueprint 🐝"
34. Bey & Blue Take A Stroll
Doesn't Blue look adorable with her colorful dress and cute hair ribbon?
35. The Carter Lounge Together
The family was seen out and about.
36. Jay Z Carries Blue While Bey Looks On
Jay carries Blue in his arms.
37. Leading The Way
Blue Ivy looks too cute with her bowler hat and Mama Bey watching from behind. She's really growing up!
38. Out On The Town
Blue Ivy & Momma Bey enjoy some much deserved time off in Spain.
39. Traveling With Mom and Dad
Blue is used to traveling with Mama Bey and Poppa Jay, but she also looked a little flustered at some moments. It's ok, baby Blue!
40. A Day At The Park
Poppa Jay Z lets Blue Ivy have her way with the bouncy horse.
41. It's A Family Affair
Beyonce, Jay and Blue jetsetting in Dublin.
Blue dressed up like a hipster and plays a quick game of peekaboo! How adorable!
43. OMG It's Blue's Beautiful Face!
FINALLY! We get to see how beautiful Blue is! Look at the adorable headband! "Blue 💙"
44. Blue Ivy
Life's a beach!
45. Brooklyn Stand Up!
"Beyonce & Blue"
46. Blue Ivy's Got Her Own iPhone
"Momma, what's your password?"
47. Beyonce's Lazy Day With Blue
"Momma, I asked you for your password!"
48. When Blue Ivy Takes Your Phone, Beyonce Be Like...
"Fine, I'll go ask Daddy!"
49. Blue Ivy On Tour
"Bey & Blue"
50. It's Playtime
Beyonce & Blue take some time out to play.
51. A Chilly Day In NYC
"Beyoncé, Jay Z and Blue Ivy in NYC - Jan. 19"
52. All Bundled Up
The royal family makes their way to their fancy car.
53. Kisses From Dad
Blue's all bundled up, getting love from Daddy.
54. Blue At The White House
Blue Ivy's taking after mommy and writing a letter.
55. Blue Loves Bo
The White House pup, Bo is showing Blue Ivy some love.
56. The Carters At The White House
Check out the royal family checking out the scene at the White House.
57. It's Christmas Time Again
Blue and Bey checking out the White House Christmas tree.
58. Blue Lovin' Bo
Blue Ivy, dressed like a Princess, showing Bo some love.
59. Like Father, Like Daughter
Blue playing dress up with Daddy's hat.
60. Fun Times With Mommy
Blue Ivy spends some QT with mommy.
61. Mommy & Me
Blue and Bey take a break for some snacks.
62. Silvery Blue
Beyonce carries Blue, while the adorable toddler rocks a metallic jacket that we want and need.
63. The Holy Grail
Blue, Bey & Jay
64. One Big Happy Family
"#miami #newyear #2014"
"Beyoncé & Blue 💙"
66. Blue & Daddy In A Blue Jacket
"Jay and Blue 💙 #NewYear #2014 #Miami"
67. Hold On To Me
"Happy New Year Mommy!"
68. Dora Dora Dora The Explorer
"Beyoncé, Blue and Dora the Explorer"
69. Daddy & Bey
"Look over there Blue, you own that too."
70. Blue's Big B-Day
"Mommy make sure they can only see the back of my head."
71. Painted Faces For Blue's Bday
"Let me get down Mommy, I wanna play!"
72. Kisses From Mommy
Beyonce and Blue prepping for Momma Tina's Masquerade Ball
73. Talk To The Hand!
Beyonce, Jay Z and Blue Ivy were spotted leaving Joey's restaurant in Miami, on January 8th, and Blue had a message for the paps! Talk to the hand!
74. Me & My Daddy
While Beyonce's arm rested, Jay carried Blue from Joey's restaurant, in Miami on January 8th.
75. Blue's First Words
"I'm ready to slay right along with you, Ma!"
76. Imagine The Sound Of This Lullaby
A newborn Blue Ivy gets serenaded by her superstar mother.
77. Don't Mess With Blue!
Every now and again, Blue Ivy reminds you...she is her father's child!
78. All Gold Everything
Blue Ivy takes after her dad's swag. The inseparable duo were spotted in South Beach, Miami illuminating the streets outside their hotel with their yellow luster!
79. All Of The Lights!
"Mommy! All the pretty colors are so blinding! I'm...just..so..overwhelmed! When's my shot coming?! When's my shot coming?!" Blue plays on set with Bey at her 'Blow' video shoot.
80. Hey Blue!
"I can be happy sometimes, see?"
81. Blue Ivy With Daddy
"Why are we clapping, again? I'm not in the shot."
82. Jay Z Tries To Get Blue To Listen To "Magna Carta Holy Grail"
"Daddy, I'm more of a Nas fan."
83. Stepping With Mom
"Wait, Ma. I want the camera to see all angles of this sick dress!"
84. Splashin' & Playin'
"Mom, this water is clean, right? Because I'm not trying to splash in water I can't trust."
85. Beyonce Discusses Important Matters
"Mommy, I completely get it. Yes, I promise to watch the throne."
86. Mommy's Hugs
"Ok, Ma. I love you to pieces, but I like oxygen too." Bey may be the Queen, but this scene from her video "Blue" makes it look as if she can't get enough of being Mom.
87. Blue Ivy Twirls
"Aaaahh, I'm having so much fun not thinking about anything...wiippeee...oh, wait...getting a little sick."
88. Just So You Know...
"I run things. Don't get it twisted."
89. Mommy & Me Loungin'
"Oh, Mommy, I'm so tired of seeing the wigs you snatched last night all on our floor. It's so exhausting. Like, when're they getting picked up? Not now? Oh. Ok."
90. A Kiss For Blue
"Mommy, let me sleep, dang!"
91. Slurpin' On That Milk...Slurpin' Slurpin' On That Milk
"Mommy, gimme that bottle!"
We could watch this adorable GIF of Blue Ivy nonstop forever!
93. Jay Sneaks In Kisses
"Dadddd! Get..Away!..I don't want...No, ugh..No kisses!"
94. Blue Stares Back...
"Hey! Who's that?!"
95. Blue Still Doesn't Get Why Anyone's Here
"No, really, who are you? You're getting to close."
96. Blue and Bey Out For Lunch
"I'm over this now. People just won't let us be. Mom, why can't we just be?!"
97. Blue Is One Tough Cookie
"Ma, please let me just kick them in the face. Like, please, I can't see through all these lights."
98. Blue Jetsets With Jay
"Dad, do we own this boat? I just figured we owned everything, so..."
99. Beyonce Keeps Blue Covered
"Mommy, I think you forgot my feet. I'm cold right now. Are we inside?"
100. Beyonce LOVES Her Blue
Look at that face, how could you not kiss it?!