Your articles have me in tear laughing. I’m a fan! LOL
Anywho, I have been dating my new boyfriend for almost 6 months and we recently told each other that we’re in love. He is so sweet to me, has bomb ass sex, and treats me like a queen. My birthday was recently and he gave me so many gifts and surprised me with a dinner and all our friends were there. I cried because nobody has ever treated me like him.
So, he is really not my issue. My issue is with his ex-girlfriend that he was with for 3 years. They had an on and off relationship and she cheated on him when he was away so he broke it off. I know he really loved and cared about her a lot because he kept giving her chances after she did him wrong. He says that he no longer loves her and wants nothing to do with her, but on his birthday she hit him up with this looong email saying how everyone in her family says happy birthday and that they love him (she also went on to make a few old jokes that they shared in common) and then to top it off she ended it with an, “I will always love you.”
He told me about this message, but it was only after I suspected she had contacted him because he made an indirect tweet about it and I figured it out. So, when he told me about the message I was a bit upset and asked him why he didn’t tell me. We finally came to an agreement that we would tell each other when an ex hits us up.
Now, my other issue is that she still contacts his mother and calls her “momma” and tells her she loves her. I can’t seem to get over this in my heart. I also found an old video of them together which also made me feel some kind of way. (I know I sound jealous) I love my man and want to stay with him, but I have a great feeling that his ex is not over him and will soon want him back if she already doesn’t. I don’t want his ex to become a problem, I want her to be a NON-FACTOR from here on out. Please give me your advice. –The New Girlfriend
Dear Ms. New Girlfriend,
Uhm, sweetie, she is a NON-MOFO’ing FACTOR! Why are you stressing over her? If he is not engaging her, leading her on, and reaching out and contacting her, then you don’t have anything to worry about. Let that bum ass wretched rat continue to scurry around sniffing for crumbs.
The man loves you! Don’t you get that! He went all out on your birthday. He gave you lots of gifts and surprised you with a dinner with all of your friends present. He demonstrated his love and emotions for you in front of everyone. The man loves YOU!
So what if his ex-girlfriend is sending loooong ass emails and trying to reconnect with him. That’s what a jilted and hurt ex will do when they know they’ve lost something really good. She wants him back because she realizes that she F’d up! She is the jackass that stepped out on him and treated him badly. She is the donkey that let a good man go, and in the words of Joni Mitchell, “You don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone.” And, now she’s reflecting over what she’s lost.
This is what I don’t understand. You have a good man. He loves you. Treats you like a queen. Does everything under the sun for you, and tells you he loves you, then why are you focusing on what his ex-girlfriend is doing? Why are you worried about her? If he is loving you, spending time with you, and giving you all his time and energy, then she shouldn’t even be a matter of consideration or thought. She is
If I were you I wouldn’t give her any energy, time, or space to rent in your head. You keep focusing on her then you will lose your man. You will begin to start making up things, and situations, and occurrences that don’t even exist. You’ll be imagining circumstances because your head will be playing games with you. STOP IT! STOP IT NOW! Focus your energy and love on your man. Let him love you, treat you like the queen you are, and adorn you with lots of joy, happiness, and joy.
And, if Ms. Thing gets out of pocket and wants to show up and start requesting time with him, or calling your phone harassing you, then it’ll be time to get Jilly from Philly on her ass and let her know, “You’re getting in the way of what I’m feeling!” Let her know that she is old news, the old witch that had her chance and F’d it up. And, you’re being a woman and letting her know to watch herself and the boundaries of your relationship. If she continues to ignore you and your relationship, and doesn’t show you any respect, then you’re going to have to snatch Ms. Thang by her weave and whoop that ass. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend
Make sure to get your copy of my new book, Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
Click on the “LIKE” button of Terrance Dean’s Facebook Page, click HERE!
You can follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, click HERE!
You can also visit Terrance Dean’s website to find out more about him, click HERE!
Also On HelloBeautiful:
Celebs Tweet Their Thoughts About #JusticeForSandraBland
1. Jesse Williams
#SandraBland's treatment while attempting to travel freely on HER public roadways has been acknowledged as unlawful. She is already dead.
2. Taraji P. Henson
"SAY HER NAME #SandraBland"
3. Ava DuVernay
"'Why are you arresting me?' Because you know your rights. Because I can. Because no one'll believe you. #SandraBland"
4. Kim Kardashian
#WhatHappenedToSandraBland We need answers!!!! This is NOT ok! This is all shady! They need to own up to this & tell the truth!
5. Jussie Smollet
"A loss 4 words. #SandraBlandMatters #BlackLivesMatter 👈🏿tell me this should change once the nation shows that we do. "
6. Snoop Dogg
🙏🌹. Sandra. Rip. 🌹🌹
7. K. Michelle
R.I.P to this queen. This could've been any of us. My prayers go out to her family. #sandrabland https://instagram.com/p/5fvlO_AhCf/
8. Gabrielle Union
SAY HER NAME!!! #SandraBland #SandraBland #SandraBland #SayHerName
"We must get to the cause of #sandrabland death because this CANNOT happen again #deathorfreedom"
10. David Banner
"When will we fight back. A man's duty on earth is to protect women and children. Where are the gangsters? Preachers? We need you. Please."
11. Nicki Minaj
"Rest In Peace #SandraBland"
12. Talib Kweli
"We the people ask @LorettaLynch to investigate #SandraBland #KimberleeRandleKing RETWEET "
Signs. Signs. Signs all around us. The Message is Here. #SandraBland
14. Missy Elliot
"When I look at the #SandraBland traffic video it brings so many emotions😳😢😡😡😤!"
15. Jessie J
"God bless your soul Sandra | #sandrabland | Change needs to come |Justice needs to be served | Heart… https://instagram.com/p/5fV79mQ0aw/ "
16. Jackee Harry
"It's time y'all, it's time.." #SandraBland #BlackLivesMatter
"In memory of #SandraBland these things don't make no kinda sense "
18. Holly Robinson Peete
I really don't look forward to having ANOTHER difficult conversation w my kids tonight...but here we go again😧💔 #SandraBland #SayHerName 😢
19. Jeffrey White
Sadly, doesn't matter by whose hand she died. Unjustified arrested set the outcome in motion. The state murdered her. #JusticeForSandraBland
Sandra could have been your mother, sister, aunt, friend or if she wasn't killed the community outreach advisor A&M. #SandraBland
21. Joan Smalls
"My heart is broken. Sending my deepest condolence to her family and friends. May you find Strength, Peace and Justice. When will this stop? #EqualityForAll #RIP #Why #SayHerName
22. Gladys Knight
Sandra Bland.... #SayHerName #SandraBland
23. Cara Delevigne
Things need to change NOW #SANDRABLAND #Justice #Equality
24. Meek Mill
"Rip to that young lady that lost her life about a traffic stop! 🙏 ima make sure I pray for her and her family! 🙏😄😄😄"