For many, this holiday season was not nothing short of magical. In Hollywood, three household names popped the question, LeBron “Ring jokes aside” James, Michael “People die over my kicks” Jordan, and John “Where is Kanye when you need him” Legend. Perhaps at your family gatherings, a cousin, or sibling may have dazzled the family by proposing to their true love. Maybe your former do or die girlfriend came back from vacation sporting a new rock. Whatever the case may be, if you’re reading this, you are most likely be feeling a little drop of jealousy or panic from hearing the good news.
Don’t worry, you are not alone! Whether you are patiently waiting for your long time love to pop the question or growing tired of endless dinner-for-one nights, engagement envy is something that can get the best of us, especially women, at times. Generally women go through bouts of engagement envy because we’ve been conditioned to believe that marriage is this magically pixie-dust-coated rite of passage and what- socially acceptable. Generally men have mental and emotional asthma attacks at the mere mention of marriage. Their boys send them condolences and prepare to spread their manhood ashes and pour some Henny over it at the bachelor party. Men are more adept to take their time to feel out the situation before taking the leap of faith.
That’s great and all, but I’m sure it does very little to abolish a nagging case of engagement envy. I have yet to go down that road (marriage/long-term commitment) and can not possibly think of that man asking me for my hand in marriage at this point in our relationship. It’s not because I don’t feel he is the one or shy away from matrimony, I know in my heart it’s just not time.
I have clear cut goals and aspirations for my life as an individual in which I revel in the ability to control them. My advice for anyone who is allowing engagement envy to affect their lives in any way is to re-shift your focus back on the individual goals, which is something you can control.
There will always be things in life that are beyond our control. If you are upset because you feel as though you should’ve been popped the question ions ago well then I’ d have to ask you: a) What other aspects of your relationship need your attention? B) How would your relationship be different if you got engaged?
If you’ve spoken your piece, and let your partner and/or the universe know your intention for marriage believe me honey they have heard you. Ultimately and honestly, the best way to overcome engagement envy is to practice patience and compassion, because I promise you the best is yet to come.
Family, I want to know what you think!
Have you ever dealt with engagement envy? If so, what triggered it.
Is marriage important to you? Why or why not?
Do men deal with engagement envy?
About the Author: Telisha is a freelance writer and the author of the Goddess Intellect blog from Toronto, Canada. Beginning February 2012, she will be offering a special 5-week online workshop “Overcoming Fear of Commitment”. To find out more information and register please connect on twitter @goddess_I or send an email to: firstname.lastname@example.org.