I have ugly days once in a while, and every time I have them or when I’m dressed down along comes a gentleman eying me down like I’m a piece of BBQ slathered with that delicious honey garlic flavored sauce (yes I was hungry while writing, thank you). I may have cold in my eyes, a half done do, and maybe even a pair of raggedy sweats on and I garner more attention from that look than the look I may have spent time, money and effort putting together. I know I can’t be alone on this one…
It started to get a little frustrating for a while when this would happen because generally when I’m dressed down I’m out running errands or heading to work, not really in the frame of mind to strike up a conversation with a potential suitor but this is when I attract them.
Out of curiosity I posed the question to a few guy friends about women getting more attention when they were “out of their fashion element” and they simply said a woman is a lot more approachable when they are not walking with a push up bra, 6 inch heels and make up caked on their face.
I took in the logic and even smiled, but had difficulties accepting the answer.
You mean to tell me that every time I want to be glamorous I’m setting myself up to be lonely?
I wasn’t with that. I may be more approachable or down to earth in a pair of jeans and chucks, but as a woman on the journey to commitment I’m not looking to fit the mold of what someone else thinks is acceptable.
I’m looking to fit a mold of what I feel is comfortable, so I can attract a like being, so whether that be me in Vickie sweats, or a little black dress I’ll rock it if it makes me feel good.
I think us women have the tendency to analyze and prod men with questions about how we can please them when not every man is the same. To me a mature man who picks up something fascinating in a woman beyond her appearance will be able to approach her whether she is dressed up or down. I appreciate a male opinion but I’m not about to put away my M.A.C collection or 6-inch heels anytime soon.
HB fam, drop some wisdom!
Men: Does a woman’s attire determine whether or not you approach her?
Women: When do most men approach you? Do you think that a woman should change her appearance to attract love?
About the author: Telisha Ng is a freelance writer and author of the Goddess Intellect blog from Toronto, Canada. Connect with her on twitter @goddess_I or send her an email email@example.com.
Also On HelloBeautiful:
Celebs Tweet Their Thoughts About #JusticeForSandraBland
1. Jesse Williams
#SandraBland's treatment while attempting to travel freely on HER public roadways has been acknowledged as unlawful. She is already dead.
2. Taraji P. Henson
"SAY HER NAME #SandraBland"
3. Ava DuVernay
"'Why are you arresting me?' Because you know your rights. Because I can. Because no one'll believe you. #SandraBland"
4. Kim Kardashian
#WhatHappenedToSandraBland We need answers!!!! This is NOT ok! This is all shady! They need to own up to this & tell the truth!
5. Jussie Smollet
"A loss 4 words. #SandraBlandMatters #BlackLivesMatter 👈🏿tell me this should change once the nation shows that we do. "
6. Snoop Dogg
🙏🌹. Sandra. Rip. 🌹🌹
7. K. Michelle
R.I.P to this queen. This could've been any of us. My prayers go out to her family. #sandrabland https://instagram.com/p/5fvlO_AhCf/
8. Gabrielle Union
SAY HER NAME!!! #SandraBland #SandraBland #SandraBland #SayHerName
"We must get to the cause of #sandrabland death because this CANNOT happen again #deathorfreedom"
10. David Banner
"When will we fight back. A man's duty on earth is to protect women and children. Where are the gangsters? Preachers? We need you. Please."
11. Nicki Minaj
"Rest In Peace #SandraBland"
12. Talib Kweli
"We the people ask @LorettaLynch to investigate #SandraBland #KimberleeRandleKing RETWEET "
Signs. Signs. Signs all around us. The Message is Here. #SandraBland
14. Missy Elliot
"When I look at the #SandraBland traffic video it brings so many emotions😳😢😡😡😤!"
15. Jessie J
"God bless your soul Sandra | #sandrabland | Change needs to come |Justice needs to be served | Heart… https://instagram.com/p/5fV79mQ0aw/ "
16. Jackee Harry
"It's time y'all, it's time.." #SandraBland #BlackLivesMatter
"In memory of #SandraBland these things don't make no kinda sense "
18. Holly Robinson Peete
I really don't look forward to having ANOTHER difficult conversation w my kids tonight...but here we go again😧💔 #SandraBland #SayHerName 😢
19. Jeffrey White
Sadly, doesn't matter by whose hand she died. Unjustified arrested set the outcome in motion. The state murdered her. #JusticeForSandraBland
Sandra could have been your mother, sister, aunt, friend or if she wasn't killed the community outreach advisor A&M. #SandraBland
21. Joan Smalls
"My heart is broken. Sending my deepest condolence to her family and friends. May you find Strength, Peace and Justice. When will this stop? #EqualityForAll #RIP #Why #SayHerName
22. Gladys Knight
Sandra Bland.... #SayHerName #SandraBland
23. Cara Delevigne
Things need to change NOW #SANDRABLAND #Justice #Equality
24. Meek Mill
"Rip to that young lady that lost her life about a traffic stop! 🙏 ima make sure I pray for her and her family! 🙏😄😄😄"