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Is It A Good Idea To Invite Someone You Just Started Dating To Holiday Dinner?

Source: Caiaimage/Sam Edwards/Getty Images

If you’ve just started dating someone new you may be on the fence about whether or not the new boo should be invited to your family’s holiday dinner. Conversely you may be curious as to whether or not you will need to save room in your stomach for a second or third dinner with complete strangers.

I remember joining an ex-boyfriend’s family for Christmas dinner one year. It was a unique experience and not the first time I had met them, as we had been dating for a few years, however there is something about being with a boyfriend’s family around the holidays that brings a whole new dynamic to a relationship. You get to learn more about your partner and what traditions and values his folks may or may not have instilled him.

I’m not gonna lie, I was dreading dinner from the moment he invited me. There was an apparent language barrier, hablas espanol, hablas espanol?! There were new foods on the table that I wasn’t familiar with, and I had to behave myself when it came to the wine. It was so obvious that I was very anxious in the situation, that his mother came up to me and told me to relax, “We’re not going to bite”.

I let out a gigantic sigh of relief when it was time to go home. I had a good time and the evening turned out to be great but my nerves almost got the best of my Christmas spirit. Did I ever go that route around the holidays again? No, and I later learned that the family was not accepting of me, but that’s another story for another time ;)

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It is a lot easier for a woman to extend the invite to her partner than it is for a man to when it comes to dinner with the family. This is because single women already know the deal; the hot topic of discussion with the elders is why your behind is single and who they can set you up with. For this reason alone, it makes sense to seek out a date or arm candy for the holidays. Men on the other hand still get asked the same questions, but it’s not persistent because men will usually congregate and become distracted by sports or spades, dominoes and yes of course sports. I find that men are also a lot more selective about who they bring around the family. It’s safe to say an invite to Holiday dinner is a privilege, not an expectation.

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So….Do you invite someone who you’ve just started dating to Christmas dinner?

It depends on your intentions for the relationships and the personality of the individual you would be inviting. Is this someone you see in your future post-holiday? Is this person socially awkward? Is this someone who will fit in with and be accepting of your family?

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It’s also important to consider your family’s culture: Is your family accepting of guests who are not necessarily marriage prospects? Is there room for one more at the table?

These are questions to consider but the ultimate decision lies with you. Under no circumstances should you feel pressured to bring anybody to Christmas dinner with the intent to silence a few nosey relatives. And conversely getting an invite to your partner’s family dinner doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is heading towards something serious.

The point of family gatherings over the holidays is to be with family and if you choose to invite a guest whether they are just a winter boo or marriage prospect, just be sure to notify your family first.

HB fam, how do you determine who gets the invite to your family’s holiday dinner? Do you ever have any disaster ‘meet the family’ stories to share?

About the author: Telisha Ng is a freelance writer and author of the Goddess Intellect blog from Toronto, Canada. Connect with her on twitter @goddess_I  or send her an email contact@goddessintellect.com.

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