A couple weeks ago I was bitten by a bug so bad that it almost had me in tears. And no, this wasn’t a mosquito or black fly, I had on my bug spray, but the bite still managed to penetrate deep. I’m talking about the baby bug. I found myself surrounded by a multitude of children under the age of ten, at my cousin’s son’s birthday party. The children were laughing, running around, carrying on and had icing permanently on their faces like it was a new make-up trend. I kept starring and making my “aunty is gonna bit those cheeks, oh yes she is” faces. I left that birthday party with a hole in my heart because I came to the realization that if I wanted to get my tribe started I had a ways to go.
Not only am I single and fertile, I am single and not quite ready to finance another being. I cannot fathom the idea of bringing a child into this world under my current circumstances. I must have my family, my king, my little angle, our palace etc. However sitting at this birthday party I looked around and although my cousins are not Trump Tower ballin’ in life, their children are very loved and have everything they would ever need.
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I don’t feel a sense of urgency to have a child yet, but I set the alleged clock older folks kept telling me about to a specific time. While its admirable to want to wait for whomever you worship to take the reins, or for prince Lance Gross to come along, there is also some element of planning that a woman needs to take in order for her to execute the dream of having a family.
What’s the right age to have a child? The beauty of this question is that in 2011, it’s up to a woman. What is your health like? A woman cannot possibly consider having a non-complicated pregnancy and labor if her health is not balanced. What is your love life like? We know that things don’t need to be kosher in this area in order to reproduce but are you willing to sacrifice sleep and sanity to raise a baby on your own? How is your financial situation? Will that baby have the opportunity to join expensive extra-curricular activities, go to college etc.
Are you unsure of when to start your family? Begin to tune everyone’s opinions out and focus on your own thoughts. Why do you want a family? Are you feeling pressured by anyone to start one? Do you feel as though a family will fill a void in your life? What are your fears? Spend a day or two with an actual family and offer to help out. If you’re a singleton like me with the desire to start a family, set a goal. I’m not playin’ either; we set goals for almost everything else in life why not our families?! I will see how this pans out. I promise to value my life and my body so that when the time comes, I’m ready to give my family the best of me.
HB family, what are your thoughts, do you have an age in mind when thinking about starting a family? What do you consider too old to have children? If you have already started your family is there anything you would’ve done differently before having children? I want to know!
About the author: Telisha Ng is a freelance writer and author of the Goddess Intellect blog from Toronto, Canada. Follow her on twitter @goddess_I
