Marriage is for everyone. It is a beautiful, fulfilling blessed union of two people. Unless you are blessed with the gift of celibacy, marriage is for you. If you are a descendent of Adam & Eve, God has created someone especially for you! The question is are you ready for that special someone or if you already missed that special someone while messing around with someone who wasn’t so special?
Relationships are not progressing toward marriage and marriages are failing because we don’t know how to be successful at marriage. Marriage is tough because it is “On The Job Training”. It is “On The Job Training” because we are not training ourselves before we get married. While dating, we are supposed to be developing and practicing the skills that we will need to be successful in marriage. But on the contrary, dating is most often the thing that prevents marriages from being successful. Too often, we are trying to compare our dating life to our married life. They don’t compare. When dating you don’t have to compromise or negotiate- when you are unhappy, you can bounce. Marriage is harder, but when successful you will be happier. The benefits include a happy husband, a happy wife, the trust, the respect, the stability, the support, the unconditional love, the sin-free sex, the life-long companionship, the knowledge that without a shadow of a doubt, when all else fails, this one person has your back. Doesn’t that sound good? So for Marriage Day I wanted to provide 10 Practical Skills you need to have in order to be successful at Marriage. Build them, grow them, borrow them, do whatever you have to do to obtain these skills before you get married. If you are already married, then you got some “On The Job Training” to do!
10. Problem Solving Skills – The skill of problem solving may be the most important on this list but I wanted to start here because if you don’t have this one, it doesn’t matter if you have all of the other ones. The lack of problem solving skill development is the #1 reason why the first two years of marriage are so difficult. During your first two years of marriage you and your mate are trying to get on the same page as to your approach to problem solving. You are finding out that with your spouse, you can only get it your way half of the time. Problem solving skills are about knowing when to fight, when not to fight, when to give, when to take and when to squash it.
9. Putting Your Spouse First Skills – Well, first after God, but way, way, way before kids or your job or your momma or your daddy or your friends or Xbox or Wii or PlayStation or the Cowboys or the Lakers or Oprah or anything else that you can think of. God – First. Spouse – Second. Kids – Third. My son is a handsome young man, but I know that I got a couple more of those left in me, but this woman is the only one for me. On her bad days when she probably should come in last, she is still first because I ALWAYS want to be first on her list of things to do.
8. Life Skills – It is important that each spouse is not only working for today but also planning for tomorrow for the other spouse. “What can I do today that would make me a better Man or Husband tomorrow?” “What can I do to still be attractive to my Husband 5 years from now?” “Should I go back to school?” “Should I start my own business?” “How can I show my Spouse my support in their endeavors?” Eat right, be healthy, live long, plan financially, save, HANDLE YO BUSINESS! BE A PARTNER!
7. Forgiveness Skills – While dating, you don’t have to forgive, you can choose to forget them. You can POOF them (Be gone sucka)! But in order to be successful at marriage, not only do you have to be able to forgive, you have to be able to forgive right now! Spouse does something wrong, they apologize, they are not perfect, you are not perfect, get help if necessary but the moment that you can’t forgive is the moment that your relationship stops growing. You cannot do anything without forgiveness. If you cannot forgive, stay single.