Send your questions to Terrance: firstname.lastname@example.org
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 6 years now and he has no interest in getting married. We have been living together for 6 years now and I’m wondering will our relationship ever get to the next level.
In the beginning of our relationship there were issues with phone calls from exes, random pictures of porn like women in his phone, issues of dishonesty, and un-loyalty in the past. One of his ex girlfriend’s still calls him constantly and he states that he never picks up the phone and talks to her, and he also states that he has no idea why she is still calling him.
We have 2 children together and he has changed a lot, but I feel there are still unresolved issues. My boyfriend is 39 years old and keeps stating that he wants to get married someday but is just not ready. Nevertheless, his family hates and dislikes me for various reasons, but mainly because he tells his family everything that happens in our house and talks bad about me to make himself feel good. I just don’t know what to do I’m tired of playing house with no real commitment from him. – Do I Stay
Dear Ms. Do I Stay,
So, you are with a man playing house, bore him two children, gone through hell and high water with him, an ex-girlfriend is still calling him, he’s 39-years old, and his family doesn’t like you. Hmmmm, and you’re asking me why doesn’t he marry you? SMDH!
Wait a minute! This just in! Breaking News: HE IS NOT GOING TO MARRY YOU. EVER!
If, after six years, and two children, and you still don’t have a ring. Guess what boo boo? You’re not going to get a ring.
Why, oh why, are you sitting around waiting on him to propose marriage when he has told you that he is not interested in marriage? If there are unresolved issues in your relationship, then, uhm, getting married is not going to solve them. If anything they will exacerbate them. And, why do you want to marry someone who runs and tells his family everything that goes on in your household and on top of that he talks bad about you to make himself feel good? I can’t! I can’t! I can’t!
I feel that I have to open my school this summer – THE ACADEMY FOR WOMEN WHO ARE A NON-MUTHAF***N MATTER. I can tell already that the heat, on top of your mentally challenged brains that are melting slowly away, and those tight synthetic wigs gripping your skulls that this will be a summer of insanity and stupidity at an all time record high.
Look sweetheart, and I don’t want to burst your dream of walking down the aisle in that beige dress that your girl, Shameeka, is going to design for you, which is influenced by the new House of Dereon classic limited wedding line. LMBAO! But, if you want to get married, and start living as a real family, then you will need to move him out of your home, or you pack your –ish, your two kids and move out. Start working on you, your self-esteem, developing and nurturing your spirituality, and start dating men who are available, ready, and are interested in getting married.
Why are you sitting and waiting on this fool? Oh, my bad, two fools together make your drama filled life more complete. It gives you purpose. It gives you a reason to live and wake each day. To hope, wish, and pray that this will be the day he will come home with that basic ass ring, from that basic ass jewelry store and ask you to marry him. Dream on hopeful dreamer.
I’m done, and I look forward to seeing you in class this summer. But, keep in mind, the summer session is only a few weeks long. I only accept cash in the summer. I ain’t no fool. I know how you crafty and shady hood people get with checks and credit cards. No ma’am. You won’t pull one over on me this summer. I want cash in hand!!
These are the classes I have you registered for:
STOP WAITING ON POOQUIE ‘CAUSE HE AIN’T DENZEL
MEDITATION AND AFFIRMATION: I LOVE MYSELF ENOUGH TO WALK AWAY
UNTIL YOU DO RIGHT BY ME EVERYTHING YOU DO GON’ FAIL
HOW TO GET YOUR OWN ANGELA BASSETT “WAITING TO EXHALE” SCENE INTERPRETATION
THIS IS FOR COLORED GIRLS WHO STAY IN RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN WHO DON’T WANT TO GET MARRIED BECAUSE THEY FEEL THEIR RAINBOW IS NOT ENUF
See you at registration! – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend
You can follow Terrance Dean on Twitter, HERE!
You can also visit Terrance Dean’s website to find out more about him, HERE!
Make sure to get your copy of my book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden – October 2010; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, HERE!