Woman are always in a rush to declare someone their “man” or “boyfriend”. After a few dates, we quickly determine that the guy has everything we are looking for, and immediately go on a mission to make things official. Why are we in a rush?
Could it be that once we meet a guy and think he’s one of the “good ones” we have to lock him down first before someone else does? Is it out of fear that we might not run across another “good one” again? Do we think it is the only way to get them to be exclusive with us? I know what it is, we can’t wait to become official so we can declare to every other woman that “HE IS MINE”. Maybe we simply don’t want to be alone.
If the answer is yes to any of the above questions or statements, then we are seeking titles for the wrong reasons and maybe way too fast.
What would happen if we stopped trying to quickly give our “relationships” titles, and we spent more time getting to know the person and having fun?
More often men date with no real expectations at first, so it allows them to simply have fun getting to know the person or just enjoying the moments in general. Women on the other hand want to make someone their boyfriend or man so fast, that they are no longer even concentrating on the person. It is like they determine as much information as they need to know on the first date, and he is already “the one”.
We have to slow down for these reasons:
1. Take time to truly get to know him. When you move too fast you miss out on the chance to get to know who he really is. You can’t just find out the basics of a person that most of us run down on the very first date. It is not enough to know that his occupation is a teacher, and that randomly his favorite food is pizza. You are not a match made in heaven because you happen to like pizza as well. Who doesn’t? Getting to know someone is not as easy as someone running down a one page resume on an interview, it is more like a person having a 90 day period at a job before the boss can even determine if they are a right fit for the company. Take your time!
2. Don’t ignore the warning signs. When you move fast you also run the risk of missing out on necessary warning signs that could possibly be telling you that he isn’t the one. Sometimes we are so determined to make this guy our “man” that we even ignore when he says “I’m not looking for a relationship right now”. How is that not clear? But to a woman on a mission, those words mean nothing. Scary! Slow down and pay attention to the warning signs, and don’t wait until you are already in the relationship for things to crumble before your eyes.
3. Build a friendship or solid foundation first. Women always like to bypass the “friend” stage, not realizing that a friendship is the foundation for a strong relationship. Have you ever heard someone say their husband is their best friend? Relationships are a lot stronger that go deeper then sex, attraction, and having a few things in common. Become the persons friend, enjoy each other, and become intimate on levels beyond sex.
4. Don’t scare him away. Sometimes when women make up in their mind too soon that they are ready for the guy they are dealing with to become official, it begins to become obvious. You don’t want to give off so much energy that it screams to the man that you are trying to tie him down and make him become committed. Even if you don’t say it, it shows in your actions. Trust me people can feel the vibes you give off. This can scare a man away in a heartbeat. They never want to feel as if they are being pressured to do anything.
5. Have fun and enjoy the moment. Women rarely just date for fun. When we are on a date we are so caught up in determining if he is “the one” that we miss out on actually just enjoying the date in front of us. Sometimes it’s okay just to enjoy the person or the activity that you two are doing together. When a woman is more relaxed and just enjoying herself, it makes the man relaxed and he will naturally want to spend more time with you. And if he doesn’t, so what? At least you took time to enjoy the moment.
So, slow down, have fun, and take more time to determine if someone is truly meant for you so that you can avoid getting into relationships that are bound to end up in a break-up. Stop racing to the finish line, because you might finish first, but those pacing might never have to run another race.