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Dear Gay Best Friend,
I will make this quick. I met a man online four years ago and had been talking on the phone and chatting. And, he sent beautiful flowers each holiday and for my birthday. I sent him gifts too. My girlfriend and I went to meet him (I took a friend along because this was our first time meeting). He had no problem with my friend coming along. So, we meet three more times, went to lunch, dinner and tours of his city.
He invited me to spend the weekend. I went alone. We had a great time. We talked, laughed and enjoyed each other’s company. I slept in his bedroom and he slept on the sofa during my entire stay. I said, “Wow, just what I’m looking for, no c*ck hound here.” I invited him to my home. We slept in the same bed. He said goodnight, and I said goodnight.
We discussed celibacy and he and I have been for quite some time. But, he stated he was ready to get back into the swing of things. And, I decided to go for it. We planned a romantic weekend at my home. And, then he stopped calling. I’m like just when I let my guard down, he does this. I asked all kinds of questions four years ago. Stuff like mental health, alcohol, and drug issues, and he stated none. He told me a lot of personal stuff, which no matter what, I would never repeat. Nothing that bad. So, against my better judgment, I called him, and I got no answer. I emailed him, asking what happened, no answer. Saw him online (he’s on my buddy list), so I just said, “How are you?” and he replied, “I’m good.”
We both are in our early 60’s and both look good for our ages. I think he’s afraid of sex. I asked him that one time when we were discussing sex and he stated that’s one of his favorite things. I say football is his most favorite. He seems like a decent guy but have some secrets I think. What do you think? Waiting for your feedback. – Single Sexy Senior
Dear Ms. Single Sexy Senior,
Lawd! Somebody’s freaky grandma is writing in. Which one of you introduced your grandma to my column? I can’t! LOL!
Well, welcome to the wonderful world of online dating. As you can see, it matters no age you are, you are not immune to men who play games.
You know what, I’m going to forward a memo to everyone out there on the perils and chances you take when you decide to meet someone online: (Clears throat and sits up)
1.) People lie. Meeting an invisible person with only a picture (It may not be theirs or they use a photo from High School, College, or years ago) and a few words describing themselves, uhm, sweethearts, they will tell you anything you want to hear. Besides, if they start off lying about their photo, stats (I’m fit and good looking, sigh!), and age, then you deserve what you get.
2.) Never, never, never have sex with them until you both go to the doctor together and get a clean bill of health. You don’t know their health or sexual status. Why take risky sexual behaviors with a stranger? Trust me, if they are quick to jump in the bed with you, then uhm, boo boo, they are doing it with other people they meet online as well.
3.) Ask them how many online accounts they have with other online dating sites. Yes, just because you met them on Match.com that doesn’t mean they don’t have other profiles set up on getfreaky.net, and sexysingles.com, and, oh yeah, christiansingles.com. LMBAO! They are on the prowl.
4.) Don’t invite them to your house, and don’t you go to their house, alone! Meet in a public place and after your initial meeting take your black ass home, alone! I don’t understand you people going to other folks houses, and letting them come to your house. People are crazy and will do crazy things. I don’t care how comfortable you feel, or they don’t pose a danger. Really? Really! Jeffrey Dahmer didn’t look crazy, did he?
Now back to you, Ms. Single Sexy Senior. Just because you’re a grandma don’t think I am not going to read you! You seemed to have done everything right. You communicated with him for four years before your initial meeting. Now, I will say that is too damn long! That man wasn’t being celibate for four years. Chile, if you believe that then I got a check for you because you’ve just won $500,000 as my 100th letter. But, I need for you to send me a check for $50,000 so I can clear the taxes and fees before I send it to you. SMDH!
But, I love how you took your friend with you on your initial meeting with this man. And, then you spent romantic times together before you did the ‘do.’ But, I think a few things went wrong. First, you waited too long to have sex with him. While you were sizing him up for a relationship and as a potential mate, he was sizing you up for sex. If he told you that sex was one of his favorite things and you didn’t engage him as to what he meant and why then darling, you slipped. That man may be a freak! Did you ask him what he’s into sexually? Did you ask how often he likes to have sex? Did you find out if he was into kinky things like toys, and other weird behaviors? Maybe he likes wearing panties. He may like butt plugs. But, I’m sure you didn’t ask any questions. Honey, you better ask these older men what they are into. You can’t ever forget that he is still a man. He is after the cootie kat. And, I’ll bet that $50,000 you’re going to send me that he wants some young cootie kat. Trust me, I know.
So, when you broke him off sexually the night he spent at your home, and when he got home, he did what most men who meet women on the internet do. He went back online to find another woman, or to communicate with his other women that he’s getting freaky with. Honey, don’t think for one moment you were the only one who was getting that old schlong. He was spreading that pipe around. And, trust and believe, some young gal is getting his social security check. LMBAO! He is paying for some sex with some young tender.
Looks, Ms. Single Sexy Senior, he wasn’t feeling you, and the sex. Point blank. It wasn’t what he thought it was going to be, or you didn’t put it on him properly. However, we will never know. Honey, I don’t want you to think you did anything wrong. You did all the right things by waiting to meet him, getting to know him, and spending time with him, but as I stated earlier that’s the risk you take when you meet someone online. You’re not going to be compatible with everyone. I do think it was dirty and trifling what he did and how he handled it. Why chase after him and try to engage him if he is being uncommunicative? I know you spent time investing in him, but if he is showing his old narrow raggedy saggy ass, then let him. Send him some Depends and wish him a happy life. Besides, I say get your Cougar on and get yourself a young tender to tap that for you. A nice firm tight muscle ass! Besides, you know what they say about old men anyway? They will give you worms. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend
How many of you, and you seniors out there, are meeting men online and experiencing that after sex they don’t call you back?
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Make sure to get your copy of my new book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden – October 2010; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, HERE!