Send your questions to Terrance: firstname.lastname@example.org
Dear Gay Best Friend,
I’m a college student who had an opportunity and lost it.
In my first year, I saw this beautiful girl whom I asked a question (just about the course). Well, later on, I saw her giving the green light; but, I didn’t come on because I was shy. Then, later, we met and she said, “I have cute eyes,” and commented that she likes them. So, I just gave her a five and thanked her.
Unfortunately, I met a friend that misled me, even telling not to talk with anybody from the opposite sex because the more you don’t talk then the more respect you get. So, the next day, I saw her coming to me, but I snubbed her. Sometimes I see her and it looks like she still has interest in me like the other time (my first year). One day I was sitting alone and she came beside me, expecting me to say something but, nothing came out. I realize that I am not good in talking to girls. Now, in my third year I don’t have a girlfriend and I think there is still hope to get her at hello but, I don’t have that confidence. I wanna ask is it still right for me to try or I should put that under my foot? And if yes, how? – Did I Miss My Opportunity
Dear Mr. Did I Miss My Opportunity,
Awwww, how cute. You like a girl and you’re having difficulty expressing your interest. That is so innocent and awesome. I remember young love, and finding it difficult to say what I wanted to someone I was attracted to. The fluttering in your stomach, palms sweating, heart racing, and the inability to find the right words. Yes, what new and young love does to you.
Okay, chile, let me wake up and get back to reality and address your letter. No, I don’t feel you should put that under your foot and give up. Hell naw! It’s time to build up your courage, and get you some self-esteem, it’s on sale at Target for $19.99, and open your mouth. And, yes, it is right for you to go for it. What do you have to lose? It’s obvious she likes you. Her complimenting you, and sitting next to you are her ways of letting you know she has an interest in you.
So, here’s what you’re going to do. The next time you see her walk over to her, extend your hand to her, and introduce yourself. Ask her name and then give her a compliment. Tell her how nice her hair looks. Compliment her eyes, or outfit she is wearing. And, then when the conversation begins to flow you can ask her what year is she in, what is she studying or majoring in, where is she from (city/state), why did she choose the college you’re attending. There are so many things you can discuss, I am just giving you some examples because these questions will lead to a conversation as opposed to yes and no answers.
And, that fool of a friend who told you not to speak to the opposite sex because you get more respect is a damn idiot. What the hell is he talking about you’ll get more respect by dissing a woman who is interested in you. It’s obvious he has no woman, no rap game, and is getting no sex. Because if he is walking around ignoring women who are showing romantic interest, he’s definitely sitting in his room whacking off every moment he gets. Don’t listen to that clown and his bull-ish on dating. He’s a loser!
So, Mr. Did I Miss My Opportunity, get your big boy drawers on, lift your balls, and step to this young woman. There is definitely some interest on both of your ends and she is waiting for you to make your move, considering she has already made several. And, I’m certain she knows you’re shy, women are intuitive like that, and clearly she’s a young lady who knows a good man when she sees one. Go ahead and approach her. I know it’s a scary thing and you’re thinking of all the possible things that can go wrong. But, believe me, nothing is going to go wrong. Just relax, take some deep breaths, calm your nerves, and just say something to her. She’s waiting on you to ease up next o her and say, “Hi, I’m __________ it’s really nice to meet you.” There’s nothing harmful in a conversation and talking with a pretty girl. Besides, these are your college years, the best years of your life, and you don’t want to look back over your life and say what you should of, could of, and would of done differently. It’s time to take some risks and move beyond your fears. Come on man, she’s not going to bite, well, not unless you want her to, and asking her out isn’t going to kill you. So, once you get the conversation going with her, simply say to her, “Hey, what are you doing later, or this weekend? Would you like to go get some coffee or tea? Or how about lunch?” Trust me, no one in college is going to turn down a free meal, and I’m not saying you have to take her to a fancy restaurant. It can be the little pub, diner, or local restaurant in your college town. Once you’ve made the first move the rest will be easy. Everything is going to fall into place because that’s how things go when you are doing it right. And, you’ll definitely be excited when it goes to second and third base, and hopefully by then your balls would have dropped. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend
Make sure to get your copy of my new book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden – October 2010; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, HERE!