Dating: A Traditional African Man vs An African American

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Have you ever entered into a relationship with a black man that was not originally from the United States? We all would like to believe Q-tip’s classic line that states “black is black” but there are cultural differences that will pop-up when trying to maintain a relationship with a man orginally from Africa. We all know that Africa is a huge continent and cultures vary from country to country but here are some of the general differences that one will notice when dating a traditional African man:

African men do not have the “gold-digger” issue. They will generally be more generous up front because in many African countries the man is the bread winner so they are socialized to believe that it is their job to take care of the family. African American men are so scared of “gold-diggers” only there to get cash so they will be less generous in the beginning. We have to earn their affections and in many cases prove that we are not there for just the money only.

Worrying About The Marriage Crisis Won’t Help Black Women

Education is king in Africa.The men realize that having a degree beyond a bachelor’s degree is the great equalizer that can free them from the chains of poverty. Many Africans come to America to get an education so they may have several master’s degrees or a PHD. When entering into a relationship African American women may think that African men lack “an edge.” In our community, Swagger is king; we chase the men with the most bravado/street credibility. Sexy and dangerous can only go but so far, we are starting to value the educationed men more.   

In America, we take monogamy very seriously. Any man born here knows that cheating is a no-no. When African American men do cheat they work hard to hide it because they know that we may end the relationship for this reason. In African countries when men cheat they are not as good at hiding the evidence. The women in Africa believe that all men cheat, so they will not leave their husband because he had an extra marital affair.

If you get really serious, A.K.A marriage, there is no such thing as extended family.“It takes a village to raise a child” is an African proverb which illiterates that his sense of community may vary from yours. In most caes they are expected to send money back home or take care of an elderly parent. You will have to be on the same page when it comes to this because apart of his income will be leaving your household regularly. They are also taught not to question their elders’ judgment, so getting along with his family is crucial. As African Americans we are taught to respect our elders but once we are all grown up we assert our opinions more.

Loving the Right Man

Take a look at some hot traditional African celebs:

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