Don’t ask me why but I always find myself in situations where most people would flip out. I’m at a friend’s house on the couch, enjoying their cable when it became clear to me that their roommate was getting it “IN” in the other room. Being the person that I am, I simply turned up the volume and kept it moving. Hey, I was watching “Say Yes to the Dress”. There could have been a fire in the apartment and I wouldn’t have moved until the bride to be decided between the Vera Wang and Romona Keveza.
As they got louder and louder, I turned the volume up but there was no escaping – not the sounds of lovemaking – but the squeaky ass bed! With every thrust the bed inched across the floor and landed with a bucking noise. Forget the saying “if these walls could talk”, child if that bed I heard being tortured could talk it’d be begging for mercy.
Which got me to thinking…
When you are with someone, you fail to consider the number of people who have laid in the same spot you have. How many bodily fluids have collected in the fiber quilting of their Sealy. Nor do you think about the number of times someone knocked their head on the headboard or bit the pillow you have rolled under your head as they spoon you.
It’s one thing to be at the mercy of a partner’s bed history when you two are just dating but come marriage, trust and believe, my and my future husband are going furniture shopping….READ THE REST HERE!
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