Comments on: Are Independent Ladies Too Much To Handle? What’s Your Opinion

By: Sunshine24_7

Sunshine24_7 — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 22:32:54 +0000

@Cara-Mello

That’s funny … because I have a hard time allowing a man to pay for anything. Been so independent, so long … one day it would be really nice to have a friend take out a window for me, or something like that, and not have his hand or his dlck out …

By: CARA-MELLO

CARA-MELLO — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 19:32:15 +0000

independent? at the end of the evening they still want you/us (men) to pay for everything, lol. and thats real.

By: cooosta

cooosta — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 17:47:20 +0000

woman was the greatest gift to man, and now woman wanna be independent, doesnt that take away from the orignial plaN?

By: cooosta

cooosta — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 17:45:40 +0000

nothing wrong with being a leader,kids are dependent, woman are dependent, men are dependent, we all depend on each other, we all depend on the lord, we need to work together not try to stand alone and be independent

By: cooosta

cooosta — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 17:42:30 +0000

all this talk about independent is sad, its not about the individual its about the team, we need more mothers not independent woman, we need more families not individuals, we need more woman to help mold the boys and girls, the young men and woman, all this independent talk is the reason why kids arent kids anymore, where all the mothers and grandmothers, give me a team player not an individual

By: DopeGirlFresh09

DopeGirlFresh09 — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 13:36:26 +0000

I love how “INSECURE MEN” wanna make INDEPENDENT WOMEN” a negative thing, for example rockwilder1911 post. Sorry love we are not all side-line ho’s. I myself am a single mother, and I am soooo picky about who I let in my life or my children’s lives. It is so hard to date anymore, to find A REAL MAN, and I’m sure for some men it’s diffacult as well. But I do believe some men, find independence in a strong woman to be scarry, just like mzalero04 stated, makes them feel like if a woman is so independent, what am I here for? Your here to love me, have that shoulder ready for when my tears drop, hold me, hug me, kiss me, love me, and be there for EMOTIONAL SUPPORT, and of course I’ll be the same for you! Trust me fellas, INDEPENDENCE IN A WOMAN is a great thing to find. Would you rather have a GOLD DIGGER?

By: ervin9002

ervin9002 — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 05:44:39 +0000

I see that most of you haven’t been around for long. Look BLACK women have always been independent. They have always picked their relationships and molded their man. You can look at any black man that has a good black woman and you will see that her Independents in the relationship is just as important and true as his . As far as the woman’s movement goes it was not aimed at the black female as much as the White female. I know that some of you may call me a LIE, but I ask you to pick up a book and read AND YOU WILL SEE THAT WHITE WOMEN ARE IN AH OF YOU.BECAUSE YOU COULD DO THINGS OUT SIDE OF THE HOME THAT THEY COULD NOT. I STILL SEE (WILLIE LYNCH) AT WORK. DON’T BY INTO IT, THIS INDEPENDENT BLACK FEMALE VS BLCK MALE THING. IT’S NOT INSOMUCH A BLACK THING AS A WHITE THING. BUT REMEMBER MY SISTERS THAT YOU CAN NOT HAVE IT BOTH WAYS.

By: rockwilder1911

rockwilder1911 — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 04:35:44 +0000

I notice all the unattractive women are on here screaming independent lmao!! you need to be no man wants yall ass no way! Thats the majority of single moms these days the ugly sideline ho after the club. keep your legs closed and fellas use a condom in about 50 years we will start seeing a diffrence less out of wedlock kids and less ugly bastards too who end up being convicts!

By: JETBLCK74

JETBLCK74 — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 01:47:27 +0000

it’s just the ego that comes with women becoming independent… it’s not that men feel their too much it’s the way she acts when she gets there that makes the man turn away. they say they don’t change.. they just don’t see it.. what people forget is what the bible says we are to do for each other, without really knowing the purpose of a relationship. we can’t and won’t get far.. so when you ask are they too much i say no…i say understand your purpose and life with will be what it was meant to be….. Beautiful

By: mzalero04

mzalero04 — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 00:48:57 +0000

First of all you get those men out there that will be negative to the question,”Is independent woman a threat” Some men are affraid of woman that are independent because they feel like if that’s the case why am i here anyway.Or they don’t need me. It’s not like that, independent women just don’t like the fact they have to depend a man, because a man will leave your azz in a heart beat and then what? you have nuthin under your belt, no job, no bank account. At least you will no how to survive with those three things in your life if a man do decide to jump ship. So trust me guys it’s not a ego thing a woman have, it’s called having her own back.

By: AtlBlackMan07

AtlBlackMan07 — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 23:37:18 +0000

You know, first off, I hope someone from Atlanta that was listening to Frank Ski this morning reads this. I was feeling homesick this morning, and logged online to listen to V-103. They gave some staggering statistics that we as a black community need to take a look at seriously. 72% of children born to african american women are born out of wedlock. Did you hear me people? 72%!!!! That is why I think that in particular black women have been forced to be independent. There are way too many black men that are producing kids, but not being in they’re life and taking care of them. Black men need to wake they’re asses up. Part of the problem here is that they don’t have fathers in the home, and so they don’t see it as a problem. You know why? Because they don’t have that father putting a foot in they’re ass telling them they need to be in they’re child’s life. So the cycle continues. Kids need they’re father in they’re life, bottom line. I’m a black man with 2 beautiful kids, I couldn’t imagine not being in they’re life. This society has become so twisted in they’re way of thinking. There was a woman that called into the show that said she didn’t need her child’s father in her life. She is independent, she drives a CLS 500, what does she need a man for? See, a big part of the problem now is that you beautiful black women have become very successful in the business world. You feel that at the end of the day, you don’t need a man for nothing. That’s only speaking materially though. What you women need to understand is this, at the end of the day, it’s not the money that makes you happy. It might for a while, but whether you admit it or not, you will always feel that there is something missing. You still want that connection with a man, a man to love you. A man that at the end of the day will have your back. Money doesn’t buy happiness, remember that. This is the reason why some men feel intimidated by your success. A real man, will not be intimidated. A real man will support you in your success. A real man will be chasing his own dreams and following through with his own plans. But sadly, it never goes that far. Women complain that there are no good men out there, but when a good one might be right in front of them and they’re too stuck on themselves to see it. Remember this, no matter how independent you may be, a good man will only enhance your life. A real man, will make sure you’re taken care of, regardless of if you have it all materially. That money can’t buy you a simple conversation over some tea. A walk through the park with the whole family, watching your kids play on the playground. A sit down family meal at the kitchen table, with the tv off. A man to correct that child if they’re wrong. A father to pick up his daughter to tell her how much he loves her on a regular basis. A father to go outside and throw the football around with his son, or to guide him through this life as a man. A husband that will fix that leaking toilet or squeaking door (yeah you could call a handy man, but think about the love behind it when YOUR man does it, because it bothers you, and he knows it will make you happy) make sure his house is safe, because he is the protector and wants to see nothing happen to his family. See, these are the types of things that are priceless. Money can’t buy these things. Kids, don’t care what kind of car you drive, they just want to know that they’re loved and you are there for them. They just want to have you there. For any men out there that read this, please, I beg you, Be a father. I promise you, it is not as hard as you think it is. Time, is the number one thing you can give to that child. Even if you can’t provide materially for the moment, times are hard, we as adults understand that. But kids, just want the time. I know I have gone in left field here, I apologize, but I just felt there were some things that needed to be said and no one else is saying them.

By: Fly_Nigga

Fly_Nigga — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 23:12:30 +0000

Indpendant, yes ….Bitch, no

By: folsrock

folsrock — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 19:05:31 +0000

indep. women not doing a good job raising there kids and thats a known fact they sit up and draw child support and dont care of there #1 responsibility. Your 14 year old son out in the streets killing eachother hmm who fault is that it sure isnt the indep. Dads can I get an Amen

By: folsrock

folsrock — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 18:58:40 +0000

We’ll I have to say Amen to this because women these days are so stuck on themselves egotistically speaking that they are forgetting about the #1 rule,family values period. If you look at the stats of young African males and women the felony rate is up so high its unacceptable to Men in general. women Yes you are indepent but yes dont be so stuck on yourself to much just take time out and let them be apart of there fathers life theres things you cant teach them that there father have the up most of these things. So what im saying is there are more to life an just paying bills. Our kids are in the streets shooting eachother at the age 16 now he have to searve 25 years in prison and he havent even been here that long now reconcile an that peace.

By: CreoleBeauty1987

CreoleBeauty1987 — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 21:49:32 +0000

I have come across a number of men who want a independent woman but don’t know how to handle them! Some get very intimidated! I can’t help it because I dont need a man to provide for me, because at the end of the day you dont know if that man will still be there! Thats real shit! :)

By: ADORABLE-SWEETY

ADORABLE-SWEETY — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 20:47:19 +0000

I thought that’s wht men want? a women who can provide 4 themselves? so whts the problem?

By: Ms_CeCe_Jones

Ms_CeCe_Jones — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 00:22:26 +0000

Men, are complaining about woman being TOO INDEPENDANT…… Well, Then the men of this generation should take their place as men. I am not saying there are no real men out there. Because I happen to know some single dads, and lots of good men. But the majority of the men handling business verses not is not large enough. I feel those who think there is a problem with a woman handling her own should get over it. There are to many woman that have had to become Independent. And they have had to do so due to the rising population of men that have abandoned their families (AKA responsibilities). Which is what drives our Independence. We have had to learn to hold down things for ourselves & our kids. Some of us have had to learn to be Independent because we were left with children to feed. And our Independence is our only chance or survival in this world and more guaranteed. Then some woman have become Independent, because of the freedom of not having to rely on anyone. My grandmother used to say, “God bless the child that has their own”. When you have your own and can do for yourself it gives you security. There was a time that we as woman had to rely on men for everything. Then so many left without anything, no skills, no money, no home, and now we are able to provide for ourselves. We shouldn’t be looking for someone to provide everything for us, and we have nothing ourselves. But we should be looking for a man that adds to the things we can already do for ourselves. Men, that are threatened by a women’s independence may only be so, because he may feel he doesn’t have the upper hand.

By: pj584

pj584 — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 21:01:50 +0000

most indie woman is doing they thing..but need mad help in other areas such as mental.

By: Kelis_TheMagnificent

Kelis_TheMagnificent — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 07:56:15 +0000

Oh and by the way, this is a subject about independent women. Race should not be an issue. If a man treats you well and you have great communication, persue him as he persues you. Dont be afraid to open your mind to other cultures and understandings. You only end up more informed.

By: Kelis_TheMagnificent

Kelis_TheMagnificent — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 07:47:25 +0000

Ladies, it is all in how you feel about yourself. Be independent, strong and free of prejudgice and you will be alright. Simply ignore anyone who tries to demean what you stand for. To be quite honest, you will meet many black men who will be intimidated by you off of the sole fact that you are a black woman. Because of the lack of black men role models in our communities, many black men are raised by their black mothers. Internally, most black men look up to and respect black women because of this. With this admiration black men have for black woman, there also comes jealousy and envy toward us. Many men will date other races or turn gay simply because they will not defeat the internal fear they have of black women. Good luck Ladies. Be confident in who you are always.

By: kazual41

kazual41 — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 02:15:21 +0000

i know alot of independent women who are single and all of them will not date a cat who is hard working but may make less than they do. and it is sad i know a guy who is a waiter this cat aint never broke he can make up to 200 a nite in tips on top of his salary and has his own he wanted to date a friend of my sis who is paid and she has her own too she thought my man was nice but when he told her what he does for a living she basically dissed him saying i dont want to date a guy if all he strives to be in life is a waiter i mean how superficial is that now that is just an example of how some indie women think.some just dont pick the right men or pass up good hard working bluecollar joes. and a lot of indie women think men are afraid of them and they can be cocky and vocal about what the want most guys wont approach you due to the fact there is nothing they feel they can do for you what ever he can afford will never be enough or do as a career and cats with just as much as they have can be your worst nightmare ladies my advice is dont knock a brother if he has less he may turn out to be the man you long for

By: Ayiti_Quisqueya88

Ayiti_Quisqueya88 — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 00:48:55 +0000

Here’s the thing about “Independent women” A lot of us have been hurt a lot by good-for-nothing dudes… They use you for what you got and the keep it moving… so we are guarded. With reason… Not to be the girl that discourages black love but get love where you can find it. My man is on my level, he understands me, he’s doing the same things that I’m doing and we are taking these strides together. another problem is a lot of “independent women” are cocky! OMG! who cares what material possessions you have… your character is what people will ultimately look at… some people run-over the threshold between confidence and cockiness and the good guys aren’t look for a high maintenance chick… they are looking to be loved and taken care of. the next problem is that some of us have big heads and forget how to take care of home cause we think we are doing something… I’ve never had a man leave me because I didnt treat him right… not one boyfriend can ever open their mouths and honestly say that about me. The problem is a lot of women can’t balance knowing how to take care of them selves and knowing how to let a man be a man, Especially a black man! Right now I’m in school and I work full time, I have a car and I live on my own, but i don’t mind letting my boyfriend take care of me because he’s the man. he pays for things, he drives when we go places… he protects my honor and in return for him doing “man” things i do “woman” things” and thats why i can keep a man and a lot of other sisters cant… humble urself and be willing to submit to ur man out of love and respect… he knows u can do it by urself.. thats why he chose you.

By: lovechoc52

lovechoc52 — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 13:57:11 +0000

Independent Women are not hard to handle they are just harder to fool. Women who fend for themselves have gotten to know alot about themselves unlike Women who rely on men.A strong Man seek out Women who do not play games and have a strong sense of themselves. Just because a Woman is independent does not mean she do not want a Man in her life . She just is selective in the type of man.A real man will profess his love for her, protect any harm coming to her and help provide for her.

By: rockwilder1911

rockwilder1911 — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 13:49:36 +0000

Well lets snap back to reality here! Most of you will never have just a decent black man because the pool is very small to choose from even for the mediocre men. The vast majority of us are in prison or felons so all our rights taken away thats a large percentage of the black man gone. Then the handsome,tall,educated,employed black man with no children that you all want is going to pick from the top of the tree of black women or sellout. Most of you are not at the top of the tree like you think just because u have the basics like a car or place wtf I had that at 18 in college. sometimes you have to be realistic about the situation stop being so snobby cause you think your attractive but its always somebody who looks better or thinking because you make 50k you doing something because your not.Just another educated sister its millions of you to choose from. So the vast majority of you gone have to settle,get a white dude, be a sideline chick or be alone. Now for the uneducated hood chick on here talking trash while using your foodstamp card get over it and get a 2nd job cause you are at the bottom of the food chain of black women but also give all women a bad rap. So sisters I know there are some men out there for you just not blair underwood or reggie bush type. he may be a lil chunky or got one leg if he treats you good and productive in life then hey something is better than nothing. Let me know how it goes ill be at the top of the tree lmao

By: GeminiEleven

GeminiEleven — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 12:49:00 +0000

Im a successful black man and would not want anything less than an independent woman in my life. To me independence is the ability to do anything, have anything and go anywhere you wish without the need for help or permission from anyone else. But I must say that some women who have this ability use it as the basis of how they will handle and treat there relationships, and this should not be the case. Just like women, men want to be comfortable when around the opposite sex. When its unnerving to be in the presence of an independent woman, then its not her indepenence that is driving us away, its her knowledge of it. Basically, Independence without humility is cockiness without consideration. When you find a woman with balance, then not only are you comfortable with her, you adore her and respect her accomplishments. All others, usually tend to sit at home, wondering why they are alone. Like a King with riches, but no followers.

By: yomzy74

yomzy74 — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 12:40:03 +0000

Yeah to be candid,most independent ladies feel they are on top of everything in the world and needs no man to tell her what to do or be subdued by a man under the guise of marriage which i think its high time this opinion changes cos ladies are always favored to get the best things in life whether you agree with me or not,that’s an opinion.

By: DJ4ADay

DJ4ADay — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 12:04:53 +0000

I have a daughter and I have taught her to be strong and independent. Her dreams are for her to work on and if you call that independent then I bless her with all my heart. There will be time when things get hard for her and I would like to know she is able to work through those day’s. We all need family and friends to help us in bad time as well as good times. But we also have learn as black people there are time when they aren’t and won’t be there for us so our own inner strength has to be twice those of our counterpart. Yes their are brothers who have given up on themselves but we don’t have to give up on all of them. The household bond has to get better in our neighborhoods. I have worked over twenty years as an accountant . Making money for other people and decided to start a business of my own as the kids are older. So the dream can still be there for anyone who chooses to reach for it. Thank for your time Ricardo

By: BlackBarbieMn

BlackBarbieMn — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 08:31:24 +0000

Our families are so broken. This topic would NEVER come up on myspace or facebook. The black family has been broken for 400 years, every since they shipped all the black men out to work. They still haven’t found their way home yet, the ones that have are rejected. The black woman simply learned how to live without them.

I grew up with my father and mother being married. I can appreciate the union of marriage and I know what is needed. I think women who grow up without fathers simply never witnessed how to love a man.

Not to make to many excuses, brothers I love you guys! However, a lot of ya’ll need to step it up. There is more to life then trying to live like diddy on 25K annually lol if I see another page with pics of jeans, cars, cash I’m going to vomit! Think bigger baby, bigger I mean instead buying the bar make a college fund for your little ones.theres more to life than what you see on hip hop videos!

Black woman hate other black women, now black women hate black men lol what us gon’ do!

By: ELjefe

ELjefe — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 05:23:20 +0000

black men love independent women. the negatives associated with independent women don’t have to be aprt of equation. that’s the extra baggae men don’t wanna deal with and find unattractive in women. the arrogance, disrepecting, belittling, and denying the neccessity of a man’s place in their life together is unnecessary. real women regardless of whether or not their independent know this and live it everyday.

By: THE-QUBE

THE-QUBE — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 03:33:57 +0000

It’s like this.. Im in college and I know once I get out. I will have a job making real big bank. But I would never go on some trip about being independent. That’s my woman and my other half! I can’t be complete being independent. My other half makes me whole.