I have been going through the commentary on my blog, and I’m impressed that you’ve all taken time out of your day to read my ramblings. I thank you for the support and hope you continue to check out everything that Hello Beautiful has to offer. However, right now, yours truly is facing a dilemma that has me ready to step out on “faith”… even if she’s not ready to step out with me.
Dating has become a rare sport, as the more girls come my way to be entertained, the more I’ve found that no one in life is truly happy. So, when I came across this young lady full of life and an energy that cannot be bottled up, I didn’t know how to react. In plain words, I thought that she was like every other girl I’ve dated. Different name, different face, same consequences and risks that would result in the same ending – my heart broken, a hole in a wall, and some jokes for the good folks at Hello Beautiful. Okay, not a hole in a wall – I have a nice place now – but I haven’t been down this path in ages.
Riddle me this, kiddos… In this age of Myspace, Facebook, social networking, E-Harmony and all that, can a relationship still organically form and work? Has the age of that good, solid bond a la Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee passed for good in our turbulent paparazzi/TMZ days? Yes, I know they had an “open marriage,” but from 1948 till Ossie’s death in 2005, they had to be happy… right?
Well, I do believe that we all deserve some form of happiness and, while I had been on this dating hiatus, a young lady came from nowhere and robbed me of my sanity. They say amore is an irrational act, and I have more questions than answers when it comes to matters of the heart. But I can’t shake the feeling that I get when I’m around her. Equal parts laughter, curiosity, arousal and anger are the gambit of emotions that run through my mind – but what’s the point? Stereotypes would suggest that black women are nothing more than argumentative ‘round-the-way girls who are either out to do you grimy, proclaim a Sistah Souljah innocence and/or will fight with you tooth and nail over matters of little importance. In the same breath, it can be assumed that I, as a black man, am “only out for one thing,” that I’m scared of any true commitment, and would never be able to handle any realistic responsibility.
As men and women continue to battle back and forth in love’s war, this particular young lady confuses me in quite a few ways. I can’t see how one could be mad at what goes on in the Internet world, but it’s hard to not be upset with things she does in the real world – those things that sound worse on paper than they do on my Facebook wall. So, I’m trying to turn off my brain in order for something to make sense. This is not a video game and one does not have control over other people’s actions in real time. I am not an innocent party in this, either; I, too, have my hang-ups. Rather, My fear in all of this is that, because there have been feelings exchanged, somewhere along the lines, she and i are not equal. A part of that may stem from the point that her and I are actually compatible on many levels, but I try to voice my opinions when I’m concerned so that my feelings can be respected. But if I feel uncomfortable with the results at the end of the discussion – has any progress been made between her and I?
…Ladies, are we destined to forever want to have our cake and eat it, too? Can you hold someone to a relationship standard, yet not be in one? Speak on it!